letting out a bit of stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
letting out a bit of stress
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 12:25am

I finally got a copy of the psych letter for the cutody interviews. I mentioned before that she recommended custody to me and psych eval. for him. I read through the 31 pages of this and here is my brief account of what was written from his conversations with her:

Almost throughout the entire document he kept repeating '...she does this (custody) only to hurt me...'

At least 5 times I would guess he said '...she has psychological problems.....she is lying about being afraid of me....'

Twice he said 'There is only one way for'....son to have both parents in his life....'....and that is that she must get me a job at her place of work....'

He also said 'She knows I am psychologically dependant on being a father, and is doing this just to hurt me'.....'my father left me when I was X years old.....' and so on and so on for about a full paragraph dedicated to his father.

When asked where he was living, he said 'Warsaw Poland'. When asked why there, he said 'because I have family there....my grandmother was born there'. That is the most bizzare thing I have heard from him (well, maybe not). His grandmother was born in W. Virginia last I heard, had never even been to Europe, and didn't know a word of Polish. Her mother or something may have had Polish ancestry but that was about it. There was no family in Poland either.

In the paper she reports that he gave her a written statement from his mother claiming she had 3 bedrooms and so could keep him and son if he got custody. Reality check: mother and her husband sleep in one small room, second son sleeps in a very filthy second room, that leaves one small 100 sqft room with one twin bed for both PAHL and son? Nice.

A good portion of the paper was him speaking about how skilled he was with guns and apprehending criminals. Funny since he had told the court previously that he never owned a gun and now says he had several (not here fortunately).

He complained that I was not good for son because I was so obsessed with keeping him safe. He offered examples including: She insisted on buying a Volvo because it was the 'safest' car. She insisted on putting him in a car seat in the middle back seat. She is paranoid of him getting bit by ticks when he goes out in the woods (he forgot to mention that the reason is that only a few months before he got lyme disease from a tick bite) And she won't let him go swimming without strict supervision (he was 4 years old at that time he refers to!) That is pretty much all he offered to show my smothering of son with over-protection.

Her assessment seemed quite strong worded but then it was hard for me to understand the tech talk since it was in German. I missed most of it. But it sounded something like: he had frequent and extreme mood changes, and had reality issues (such as he is living in a fantasy world). She went on to say he needs to seek compitent and certified psych and neurologist help before he could ever be alone with son. Not sure what that means but perhaps she is saying that he might have a chemical or brain problem? Whoa....how did I get mixed up with this one?

Anyway, refering to my fears of him.... He gives me chills, especially when I read such stuff as this. I have an RO on him but you see, insane people don't have any concept of law or consequences. The RO is only a mild deterent in this case. I don't feel I am dealing with a sane person at all. It will take some time to work all this out of my system and I don't know how I am going to feel 100% safe from him, but hope that day will come soon. For now I am dealing with the aftermath of a very chaotic life with a chaotic person. Thanks so much for all your understanding and letting me pour it out here.