sharing some thoughts and comments
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| Sat, 09-10-2005 - 12:54am |
Hello,
It has been 5 days since the last crises and my last post. things are "calm" now, he behaves like a sweetheart (except for occational sleeps of the mouth like telling our children that one of his mistakes was marrying their mother, and he thinks its amusing)
since I started reading this board and the books you rcommended I feel like I am wide awake analyzing every situation at home.
I want to share with you some situations and see if they happened to you too.
first about reading the book "the verbally abusive relationship", this book is amaizing and I feel that I need to read it slowly and chewing everyword, but... I do not want my husband to know I am reading this book, at least not yet, so I have to read it in hiding... this makes it hard to read but gives me some kind of pleasure of having something to help me cope with him....
Second, I started using some of your advice and the books advice. I have to keep practicing but I think I can see some small results already. First he is more careful with what he says and like I said before he tryies to be nice with some stuff coming from him that aparently he can't control. when I told him to stop saying something disturbing in front of the kids, after a minute he said "you cannot tell me what to say, I can say anything I want" and later he said again what he was saying before with more emphasis on being more nasty. This wasn't so good but firstly I learned that I don't have to play the victim, I can tell him to sop and I have to do it more firmly, second whatever I do he will try to resist so he wont loose control and his virutal supperiority over me and the kids, so I need to be strong.
After I read all the book and try everything the book suggests, If it does not work at least I will be stronger and ready to be free.
any comments?
