Anti Social Personality Disroder ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Anti Social Personality Disroder ...
5
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 9:52pm

A freind sent me this, said "I have decided, THIS is M's diagnosis". & man oh man, it PEGS him!


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Therefore, he would be incapable of changing (certainly has been so far). Thoughts of him being able to consider someone else's feelings above his own are impossible (yep, just not even capable. What HE says is the ‘right’ way. I swear, I have NEVER seen anyone who could argue, literally, that blue is red. If HE says it or thinks it, its RIGHT. I cant tell you how many times he has said to someone, about their OPINION, “you are wrong”).

Antisocial Personality Disorder is also known as psychopathy or sociopathy. (interesting, my Mom always said my Dad was a Sociopath) Individuals with this disorder have little regard for the feeling and welfare of others (he has a LOT of feeling & regard for SOME people. Eg” kids, elderly, animals. Surprisingly, his caring for others is what really attracted me to him at 1st – something that reminded me of the “good” in my Dad. But that niceness & caring has to be on his terms, when he feels it – if its not, then he treats you like sh*t. Its always been amazing to me how he could literally be jumping out of the car to help a little old lady pick up something she dropped, or help a blind man, or help an elderly person in a wheel chair, or be the Dad at Ave’s school who all the kids love & are climbing all over, or stop on the side of the road to try to rescue a hurt animal – YET … he could call the mother of his child a fat fing C***, or tell her “shut your hole, b4 I shut if FOR you”.) As a clinical diagnosis it is usually limited to those over age 18. It can be diagnosed in younger people if the they commit isolated antisocial acts and do not show signs of another mental disorder.

Antisocial Personality Disorder is chronic, beginning in adolescence (from what I understand, he HAS been like this since adolescence) and continuing throughout adulthood. There are ten general symptoms:

- not learning from experience (THAT’S an understatement. DUI's in his past - b4 me. & serious threats from me that if he didnt change, i was done)
- no sense of responsibility (& man oh man, so is THAT, an understatement)
- inability to form meaningful relationships (? Nah, he certainly has one with Ave - & HAS in the past with me at times. When he wasn’t crazed. I think there was some ‘normalcy’ & sincerity & he did/does love me to the best of HIS ability – which is pretty much nill - & with a few others. But certainly not what he should with more people he should – like his family. Of course, THEY are all screwed up too)
- inability to control impulses (yeah, like wanting to beat the crap out of me? Or driving 90 mph like a maniac when pissed at me for some ridiculous incident, Or ROAD RAGE if someone cut him off? Or walking off a job b/c something minor pissed him off? Or getting fired for freaking out, & going back later that nite & putting glue in all the locks – vandalizing your bosses business?)
- lack of moral sense (Maybe, but he walks on the moral high ground of course – he is right. & if you don’t agree, you are wrong. Period. Abortion is wrong. No ifs ands of buts. You aren’t Repubican? You are wrong. You FEEL something he doesn’t? You are wrong. You think one type of car is better than the other? You are wrong b/c that’s not what HE thinks)
- chronically antisocial behavior (yep, over & over & over)
- no change in behavior after punishment (for a short while, but it never lasts)
- emotional immaturity (Lord, Highlight this one - & they say that an addict stops maturing emotionally when they take their 1st drink – that would be age 12 for him, sounds about right)
- lack of guilt (Guilt? Why would he feel guilt? He is never wrong)
- self-centeredness ( You mean refusing to work to support his family, then calling his wife a selfish *itch b/c he cant buy a boat & “all my friends have one”??? Or being furious that his wife, who is supporting the family, wont co-sign a loan, so you go out & get a credit card in your name only? Or your wife has to go to work overnite at 11pm, EXTRA shifts, so YOU can sit on your lazy arse & you don’t show up in time to stay with your child b/c “the guys really wanted me to hang out”. Or your mother dies, & 15 minutes later he is asking your brother, in the next room, how much her house is worth & what will be done with it?)

People with this disorder may exhibit criminal behavior. (almost) They may not work. (Why SHOULD he work when people are “always trying to F him over?" Always “out to get him”.) If they do work, they are frequently absent or may quit suddenly. (yet another understratement) They do not consider other people's wishes, welfare or rights. (b/c

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 10:54pm

Rebecca,


Thank you for posting this information, and I am sitting here crying because this does describe my husband.

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 2:38am
Fits PAHL to a T as well. Not missing on a single point. One comment about the lack of ability to care for others. PAHL had no ability to care for others. You said yours was quite popular with the kids and would run out to the street to help an elderly person. PAHL was involved in boyscouts. On first glance you would think that means he was so caring and attentive. But experience with PAHL taught me otherwise. PAHL would be putting down the boys, the parents, saying he only volunteered to impress others so that he could maybe get a job. When PAHL was helping someone (which wasn't so often) it was because he selfishly wanted something in return like a favour or to be praised, respected, worshipped blah blah blah. He fed off that stuff. PAHL said as such. Do you think that yours may have had the same motivation when helping others? Or do you think he was really genuine? Just a thought.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 7:47am

Hi Tanya,

I'm concerned about the threat your husband made. He said, "I don't care if you're pregnant, I will beat the crap out of you." That's pretty serious, and these guys usually mean what they say. I think for the safety of you and your baby that you should get away from him as soon as possible.

Be safe

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 9:46am

Welcome to the board Tanya....


No one looks like a monkey or a fool when they cry.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 10:59am

Tanya, thank you for your resoponse. As you can SEE, what & who your husband is has NOTHING at ALL to do with you, how you look, how you treat him, how you cook, how you shop, etc.

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