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| Tue, 09-13-2005 - 8:56pm |
Thursday the girls and I were supposed to go out to dinner with STBX for his visitation. I had spoken to him earlier in the day and he was slurring his words so I figured the night was going to be cut short if he was drunk or high, but wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that he had sobered up enough to spend time with his daughters. I spoke with him about an hour before we were supposed to head over to the house to pick him up so figured everything would be fine. Normally call right before to make sure it's still on so I don't disappoint my daughters (I don't even tell them until right before we leave because they get cancelled so often).
I knocked on the door and rang the doorbell multiple times. Finally got my key from the car and let myself in. Yelled Hello before seeing him asleep in bed. I figured he'd probably passed out and would be out for the rest of the night so left a note, consoled my distraught daughter (she really wanted to see daddy) and headed back home to eat dinner.
Finally get a call around 8 pm wondering where we were and if we were still coming. With the girl's bed time at 9:00 I don't think so. Then he wants to know when he can see them. I said Monday or Tuesday (usually on Thursdays). He wanted the weekend, but we were going to my parent's cabin in the mountains. We argue some more then he tells me to stay by the phone and hangs up on me. Calls me back a few minutes later saying he will be at the baby-sitters the next day with the police to get his visitation for the afternoon and I have no right to keep him from his daughters. I offered Monday or Tuesday, how is that keeping him from his daughters? And he's the one who passed out and missed his chance. So I told him go ahead and I would show up and explain to the officers why he can't have the girls by himself (open CPS case charging child molestation against our oldest daughter but no evidence arrrgghh!). And he won't even go in to talk to the investigators because he 'lawyered up'.
Anyway we got into an even bigger argument. I told him he was lucky my parents took us in otherwise we'd be having to pay for my apt, utilities, etc. for me and the girls and I wouldn't be able to contribute to the house that we're trying to sell. And I haven't asked him for child support yet because we can't afford it and the house right now. He said to keep my share, so I said I would. He said "good, abandonment". I said it's not abandonment because we acquired the property during the marriage therefore community property and I get half, not to mention I have been contributing for the year we've been separated. Also after contributing to the house, daycare, car payments, insurance, etc. I only have $300 per month to spend on myself and help pay for groceries at my parents. He then says it's all about the money for me. I said no, it's about the safety of my children. Finally get off the phone agreeing to meet for lunch the next day.
Later he calls back to apologize that it got so bad and he was just upset because he couldn't see his girls. I said you were the one sleeping (he objected to passed out) and you were the one who made it so bad. It felt so good because I hardly ever stood up to him like I did that night.
I finally decided to go for sole custody and force supervised visitation with a non-family member. I haven't told him yet, but I'm sure there will be another argument...
Thanks for 'listening'. :)

WHOOOOOOO!
CL-Blueliner4