Thank you for taking the time...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Thank you for taking the time...
2
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 9:57am

Just wanted to thank you all for your responses to my previous post. I took a short break from work, and don't have access to a computer in my home. I feel like a fool to say the least, and I am probably in some type of denial as I have been unable to break my relationship with my BF. I tried last week to end it, obviously didn't try hard enough. I am supposedly an educated and successful woman, and yet I am incapable of ending this relationship. All the good advice I have been given by you all, all the things I have read, all that I know and yet I can't seem to do what's best for me. I didn't grow up in an abusive household, my mum may have been an emotional and needy person and somewhat verbally abusive towards me - but no one was physical. I'm an idiot.

Thanks again, Beach

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 10:37am

You're not an idiot, so don't let me catch you calling yourself that again ok?

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 9:36am

Oh, you're so NOT a fool or idiot. Leaving an abusive relationship is crazy hard! You think you feel like a fool? Check this out.

My ex once carved the words "F*** UP" on his chest with a razor blade and showed up at my house with the blood still wet & dripping. He once showed up at my house with a black eye and said he did it to himself when he was having a "breakdown." He hit me, spread rumors about me, and acted like the sociopath he is.

What'd I do? I felt sorry for the guy! How ridiculous is that?

I've got a college degree and am successful in my field, but it's no easier for me to think clearly than it is for anyone else who's involved in an abusive relationship.

Try not to think so hard about this! Just do it! End it, and have no contact with him. It's going to take a whole lot of hard work to make it stick, but you can do it! Believe me, I thought I'd never get away from my ex, but I did it. So can you.

Also, please don't underestimate the damage that verbal abuse can do. Your mother probably hurt you more than you realize and that may have very well set you up for abusive relationships. Emotional abuse can be far more damaging than physical abuse.