Building self esteem

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Building self esteem
2
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 4:29pm

How did you begin to rebuild yourself esteem ? I have been working with my counsler about deciding what make me happy vs doing what everyone else thinks I should. I still feel really insecure in most things. Anyone got any tips on this ?

Nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 7:52pm
I was reading this one book yeaterday called "100 Days After Leaving An Abuser". One of the ways the book said is looking in the mirror and saying "I am lovable". It may seem silly at first, but that's because you don't believe it. Do that once everyday and you will believe that you ARE lovable. Another way is to write down everything about yourself that you like. When you start to feel down, read that list again and remind yourself of the good things about you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 1:53pm

I hope this helps, its what has helped me build my self esteem. For me I needed to understand what happened to my self esteem then I realized it was based on some elses evaluation of me NOT based on how I felt about myself...xh told me I was stupid, retarded, boring, ugly, terrible mother etc etc and I stopped seeing the truth. I worked on developing a clearer picture of myself and accepting what I discovered about myself regardless fo what anyone else may say or see. It starts with finding one thing we value about ourselves and build on it from there. The biggest part of it was realizing that it is a process, step by step.I am now at a point where I can understand why someone would want to be my friend, spend time with me, even love me and when he tries his little mental games it takes all my strength now to not laugh at him (unfortuantely we still have some contact regarding teh children) because I see it for what it is - BS!!!
Keep at it, you are on the right track. Big Hugs to you.

Lisa