Eight months and counting....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Eight months and counting....
4
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 12:41am

I want to thank everyone on here, as well as the sister board. Without you all, I really don't know where I would have found the strength to do what I have.
I have been moved out on my own for eight months from my extremely agressive and abusive husband. Although I haven't filed for divorce yet, I am only waiting until I have the money to do so. But I haven't gone back once, and it's great.
I have my own car, apartment, phone, whatever and its the best feeling in the world. Although the apartment may be fairly empty and the car may be a few years old, I love the feeling of being myself and being happy. I have an amazingly wonderful job where I really enjoy it that I would have never been able to pursue otherwise. I have two Siamese furkids who can run around the apartment and not be in fear of being kicked or hurt and who always have a spot on the bed. (The sound of them purring up at night really is better than the crying and yelling that preceeded it.)
It is my home, which I never felt in three years of marriage. I can enjoy being twenty (almost twenty one) with my friends that I have made these last few months, and I am also reconnecting with alot of my old friends that I wasn't able to interact with before.
The best thing is, I am able to reach out to my father again. My father was so hurt by my actions to get married to a man that he could not stand, and it hurt him so much to see me continously being hurt by a man who claimed to love me, that he couldn't talk to me in three years. I love the feeling of being able to slowly become a daddy's girl again, my father is the greatest man in the world.
It's like air. I was breathing dirty air, and now I am breathing the purest air in the world. Cheesy, but true. I am so grateful that you all helped me to see what I needed to do and gave me the support that I needed at midnight when there was no breathing soul for me.

It's hard. Heck, I get lonely now. But I would never go back. I am so proud of what I have done and continue to do. I have also been asked to assist in the counseling of domestic abuse victims as well as their abusers. It is so amazing to see the things that I went through in someone else.

Thank you everyone and good luck to those who have to do what I went through. Someone is always there for you, whether they have a mouth or a keyboard, it still is someone who cares.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 12:02pm

That is so wonderful to hear andI am so happy you have been able to find this peace in your life. You should be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished because it is a very difficult time in our lives. For me I like knowing that I faced my biggest fears and not only did I survive - I am thriving! I now know that I can handle what ever life throws at me because if I can walk away from my abusive xh after his threats adn his brainwashing I can handle this life.

I hope someone can read your words and find strength and hope.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 12:14pm
Thank you so much for posting this. To those who are still in abusive relationships, this can be you, if you want it!
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Avatar for mom2dylan2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 12:36pm

I don't even know you but your post really moved me. What an inspiration to those of us who still haven't quite gathered the strength to leave. You should be so proud of yourself. You have your whole wonderful life ahead of you. Stay strong and don't look back!

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 9:49pm

Lisa, your post made me smile. Thank you.

I am very proud of the things that I have accomplished, but I really do feel good that people can learn from something that I went through and they will not have to go through what I did. No one deserves that kind of pain, no matter who you are or what you do.
There was a few posters on here awhile back who had left and I read what they had to say. It just sounded so wonderful, to be who I was and not locked in a glass cage somewhere. I just really hope with all my heart that someone who is reading this can realize that every person deserves to feel REAL love.
I remember sitting at work on my computer and thinking I could never do this, I would miss him. I was surprised at how LITTLE I did miss him, because of all the things that I had. There is something so great about turning off the tv, grabbing a really good book, running bath water and staying there until you want to get out. Then, snuggling into your own big bed, stretching out, and watching a chick flick until you fall asleep. You don't have to hear about how chick flicks are stupid, or your wasting electricity by falling asleep.
I just really want to be happy. And I really want other people to be happy. For every one thing that he did to hurt me, I really would love to be able to make someone else happy. I realized that my actions do affect others and I can truthfully make someone else feel better.
Sorry, I got all mushy. I am typically not a musher, lol. I just really mean what I say about how it takes the desire to want to be happy and realizing that making yourself happy will make others happy......
No, I don't intend to leave here, to whoever it was that asked. I'd really like to listen to someone who really just wants to talk. My advice is worthless, but I will always be more than happy to listen.