Recorded my phone conversation

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Recorded my phone conversation
9
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:40am
I have been planning this trip to N.C, this weekend to see my daughter that I haven't seen in 2 yrs. I was talking to my mom yesterday on the phone and I told her that my husband wanted to know if I wanted him to go. I just told him I didn't care. Well my moms response to me was that she didn't think he should go because she was affraid he would start an arguement infront of her. She thought it should just be my son and I. Well when he got home, he was ok at first. Then he sais again, do you want me to go to N.C with you? I said I don't care. I asked him why he was so wishy washy about going? He said you didn't talk to someone that told you I shouldn't go? My heart started pounding and I said I talked to my mother about that earlier on the phone. I figured it out! HE had recorded my phone conversation! I feel like I have appsolutley no privacy now! I feel like I am going crazy!! He sais he has every right to do that because I have looked through his phone before to see who he had been talking to. But I felt like I had every right because he's the one that I don't know where he is. Doesn't answer the phone when I call, etc. Was it alright for him to record my phone calls? How bad is it getting? Now he keeps turning everything around on me and I can't take it anymore!! I feel so off balanced and paranoid, confused, angry, .... Now we're suppose to go on and work things out in his book. I'm so lost right now!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:54am
It's actually illegal for him to record your conversations without you knowing. In my state it is ok to record conversations as long as one party in the conversation knows they are being recorded (usually yourself). Since neither you nor your mother knew you were being recorded and your husband was not a party to the conversation, it is illegal without him having a court order allowing it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:02am
Thank you for your response. I couldn't believe he had done that. I'm nervous about everything I do. When I've been on the computer I make sure I delete all the history off the computer so he can't see what I've been writing on here. I feel like everytime I talk he is listening. I always feel watched. I hate feeling this way! I didn't know it was illegal. But what can I do? That would just piss him off if I said that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2001
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:36am

Patty,

Things like recording phone conversations does not happen in "normal" relationships. This is just one more thing that adds to the beginning of domestic abuse as far as I am concerned. My Mom and Dad had a 62 year marriage that worked, mine was 30 and it was miserable. I survived everything. I just hope by posting here that I can help with not seeing others waste their lives by giving everything to someone who doesn't deserve them. I am finding at the age of 59 that my life has passed by quickly and this is something that you can't get back. Take care of yourself and keep posting here, we care,

Luv, Sherry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 11:47am

My husband did the same thing for 6 months before I even knew it !! I found out it's illegal in all states and a class H felony with up to 5 yrs in prison for each count!! It's only legal if he was in on the conversation or one party consented !! PLus, the longer he does it and the longer he keeps the tape the stiffer the penalty . Just thought you might want to know that . I can email you exact articles if you want them . (((HUGS)) I know I felt really violated by this myself. My ex still has the tapes b/c I chose not to nail him when I had the chance . he now uses it to blackmail me and he got lots of good stuff for court too. So, be careful just incase you ever do want to leave !!! He also had a digital recorder in my house and car . So, just be careful !!

Nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 11:29am
.


Edited 5/11/2006 11:31 am ET by sweetdreams893
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 12:10pm
Yup, this is illegal, and nope, this is not acceptable. You can decide whether you want to report him for this now or later, but it will be more fuel to the fire whenever you do decide to leave him.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 3:12pm
I told my husband that it was illegal to record me and he said it's not illegal because its his house.Is this true?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 6:42pm
honey, if it were illegal, would he tell you?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 1:33pm
It's NOT true. He's a liar trying to get away with more nasty behavior.