Results of Court yesterday
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| Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:20pm |
We did it. STBX and I along with both of the dd counselors were put up on the stand. One counselor said she didn't have enough info to conclude whether or not abuse happened. The other said she believed she was, but his attorney kept beating her up on her practices, even asking the other counselor about the practices to have her say it was wrong too.
I sometimes kick myself for pulling dd out of counseling with the first counselor but I just couldn't afford her fee because she wasn't covered under my insurance. If I had left her in there longer, she probably would have been able to definitely conclude that it had happened.
Husband lied (of course). He said he has never taken drugs, ever, and he never touched his daughter. But nice part is judge caught him on the drug one since he had a positive hair follicle test for cocaine and no explanation why it came back positive. All they could do was have him go in for a second one that came back negative, but it was 10 days later and judge stated previously that both results could be completely accurate. Maybe she can make the next assumption that he's lying about the other stuff too. His lawyer tried to muddy the water as much as possible by accusing my mom of coaching her to accuse her dad or that my dad may have done it, and bringing up other accusations against other members of my family (not all immediate family). Fortunately both counselors said that I did not present as someone who was coaching and I was completely believable regarding my accusations.
I got to bring up the dv issues, his drinking, his drug use and his hallucinations. I think they all concerned the judge and that he may be a danger to the girls even without the finding of sex abuse, so it may be something she considers when she does finally order custody. They didn't really bring up much against me because there isn't much to say.
Judge won't rule for some time so I won't have anything resolved for potentially weeks or even months. But she's ordered supervised visitation to continue, right now by a professional supervisor, but later by someone he doesn't have to pay who has been trained on what to look for. He's trying to get his parents to do it, but dd came back from spending the night at their house (with stbx staying as well) claiming she had a stick in her bottom. And they don't believe anything happened to her so they won't properly watch him if they are supervisors.
Weird thing is the judge ordered supervised visitation for my parents too (I get to do that, but we all live together right now, I don't know how I'm supposed to do 24 hour supervision). She seemed concerned about the amount of sex abuse accusations in my family, even if not all were valid.
We both have to attend counseling, and I have to take my daughter back to the first counselor for continued therapy. We also have to get a parenting coordinator that everyone has to report to. The custody evaluator had provided 2 potential recommendations depending on how the court found on the sex abuse. For temporary orders she pretty much implemented the recommendations for if he was a danger. I hope that's a positive sign. I also plan to take dd back to first counselor ASAP to see if she says anything else that will convince counselor that something happened and she can give that info to the judge before she rules.
She also ordered that we both have to quit drinking (for me when I have the children, for him altogether) and he has to pass 10 consecutive tests using random weekly tests and he can request that I have to go take a test that I have to comply with within 24 hours. If I pass he has to pay the fee. We tried to claim that I am not being accused drinking too much and I don't drink much now, but judge was concerned that I did drink a lot when first married and that alcoholism runs in my family.
So all I can do is hope and pray that the judge sees through his lies and can take the evidence that I put forth to determine that he has done something and orders supervised visitation and me sole custody. Keep us in your prayers.

Big {{{HUGS}}} what a day you went through. Stay strong and you're in my prayers.
Lisa
It was a very long day too. Court started at about 8:40 am and we didn't walk out until 5:40 pm (1 hour break for lunch and 2 5 minute breaks). And we didn't put some witnesses on the stand. I was exhausted. And you're right, it's good he still has supervised visitation. I just really hope it continues.
Thanks for you continued thoughts and prayers!