It isn't completely impossible for an abuser to change, but it is highly unlikely. They have to be very dedicated to change, and willing to go through intensive therapy. It doesn't sound like either is the case for her, and to be honest, I would believe her when she says that no anger management will help her.
The thing that it is important to understand, is anger and control are intertwined with abusers. They feel the need to control because they feel the anger, but they do not, for whatever reason, feel the need to control the anger. This does NOT mean that their victims are to blame; "egging them on" is a myth. What it does mean is that you can't expect one to cease unless the other does, and statistics tend to indicate that either will cease.
I really hate to have to burst your bubble, but I think this is going to be a temporary thing at best. Be prepared to call the police if you have to. And, remember these words from Gonna's other post:
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You cannot abuse another person out of love. Abuse is about an abnormal need to control another person. Abusers do not know how to love. >>
It's true, no matter whether the abuser is a romantic partner or not. The chances that she will stop this behavior are slim to none. The question is, what do YOU feel ready to do about it?
It isn't completely impossible for an abuser to change, but it is highly unlikely. They have to be very dedicated to change, and willing to go through intensive therapy. It doesn't sound like either is the case for her, and to be honest, I would believe her when she says that no anger management will help her.
The thing that it is important to understand, is anger and control are intertwined with abusers. They feel the need to control because they feel the anger, but they do not, for whatever reason, feel the need to control the anger. This does NOT mean that their victims are to blame; "egging them on" is a myth. What it does mean is that you can't expect one to cease unless the other does, and statistics tend to indicate that either will cease.
I really hate to have to burst your bubble, but I think this is going to be a temporary thing at best. Be prepared to call the police if you have to. And, remember these words from Gonna's other post:
<
You cannot abuse another person out of love. Abuse is about an abnormal need to control another person. Abusers do not know how to love. >>
It's true, no matter whether the abuser is a romantic partner or not. The chances that she will stop this behavior are slim to none. The question is, what do YOU feel ready to do about it?