Im Back
Find a Conversation
Im Back
| Sun, 05-14-2006 - 12:53am |
hi all
well i was on here before about 4-5 months ago...I've been so busy and my internet "privileges" were taken away and we ended up disconnecting it for the past 4-5 months...anyways while my hubby has a somewhat better attitude being on antidepressants, hes still SO controlling...he uses his physical presence to intimidate me and make me break down and i dont even recognize myself when im like that! I sob and apologize and shrink into myself which usually isnt me. Even when we get along, it disgusts me to have sex with him..I literally feel sick to my stomach. Even if Im ever "in the mood" its not to be with him and I have to force myself to almost forget who he is. I just dont know what to do. We just moved into a big new house and he holds that over me, because he makes probably two times what I do. He always tells me he'l leave me with the mortgage on the house(in both our names) and he always tells me he isnt happy with me, hates me, thinks im disgusting and the worst wife in the world, then flips and tells me how wonderful I am. He threatens to hurt me and my dog if I leave him. He always says I cant make it without him and while I hate him, I dont know if I could live without him at least financially. And the worst thing is I met a guy at work whos about 3 years younger than me and the sweetest guy i've ever met and I've fallen so hard. dont know if its how he treats me or what but I just count the days til my hubby goes away to work so I can spend time with the guy from work..I just dont know what to do
well i was on here before about 4-5 months ago...I've been so busy and my internet "privileges" were taken away and we ended up disconnecting it for the past 4-5 months...anyways while my hubby has a somewhat better attitude being on antidepressants, hes still SO controlling...he uses his physical presence to intimidate me and make me break down and i dont even recognize myself when im like that! I sob and apologize and shrink into myself which usually isnt me. Even when we get along, it disgusts me to have sex with him..I literally feel sick to my stomach. Even if Im ever "in the mood" its not to be with him and I have to force myself to almost forget who he is. I just dont know what to do. We just moved into a big new house and he holds that over me, because he makes probably two times what I do. He always tells me he'l leave me with the mortgage on the house(in both our names) and he always tells me he isnt happy with me, hates me, thinks im disgusting and the worst wife in the world, then flips and tells me how wonderful I am. He threatens to hurt me and my dog if I leave him. He always says I cant make it without him and while I hate him, I dont know if I could live without him at least financially. And the worst thing is I met a guy at work whos about 3 years younger than me and the sweetest guy i've ever met and I've fallen so hard. dont know if its how he treats me or what but I just count the days til my hubby goes away to work so I can spend time with the guy from work..I just dont know what to do
