Wow, this is beyond what I imagined..
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| Mon, 05-15-2006 - 8:04pm |
Okay, so I left a message in here not too long about about how my ex got my best friend against me.
Well, it turns out that he was cheating on me with whole time, WITH HER! This was the person that I told every detail about him to. Someone I trusted and confided in about EVERYTHING and he knew it ALL. I can't believe this! I don't know HOW he was able to do it, but he did. Now I'm without a boyfriend and a best friend..whom were at one point the most important people in my life. I feel so alone. I can't believe this is happening to me. To top it all off, they were my only "real" friends. People were only friends with me because of them. So everyone hates me now. I don't know what to do. This is the worst kind of betrayed. I'd feel much better if he really was cheating on me with the person I thought it was. Wow.
*Edit* I know that this was his sneaky way of getting us to hate each other, because I wouldn't shut up about what happened to her behind closed doors. Now he's living with her and making her even more mad at me for his abusive outrages. He's blaming me for the way he's treating her. I don't know what to do. He's even got my sisters into this, so I can't say anything to him. Then again, they are my only contact through her. Somehow I want to tell her that I'm not against her, I don't hate her, and I will still help her out if need be. But I know I can't do that without him finding out! ugh!
Edited 5/16/2006 6:50 am ET by anchantra
Edited 5/16/2006 6:51 am ET by anchantra

First, she was not or is a friend. Second, he is an abuser and they deserve each other. Now what you must do is keep posting here and you will get help. Trust me, I am a survivor after a 30 year marriage and the help I got here saved my life. I found this place back in 98 when I gave it a name "domestic abuse/violence" and my so-called marriage would never be the same. Two years ago I had had it and left with my life, life or death? I am starting over at 59 and just hope that I can help young girls or older ones not do what I did, you can't get the years back after they have been wasted on someone who doesn't care and only cares about themselves and that includes how they don't care about the children either. Take care of yourself, we care and keep posting,
Luv, Sherry
ugh. I am SO stupid! I broke the no contact rule!
First of all, I'd talk crap about him. Mistake number one.
I'd let everyone know how upset I was. Mistake number two.
Then, I realized that he was talking about me and letting people know my most intimate details and humilating me to the people I thought I could trust. So then I went to talk to him about it, apologize for the things I said, hoping he'd forgive me and admit to the things he's done.. Mistake number three.
All he did was change the subject whenever I'd let him know that I know what he's up to. And then try to tell me that he never talked bad about me, that he misses me and that he "likes me a lot" (before it was love).. He also said that no one told him any of the things that I said about him, and said that he's not mad. Then told me that he didn't know why I broke up with him, and said that he was happy with me. I called his bluff by pointing out that he constantly got mad at me over stupid stuff. Of course he didn't remember. Then whenever I'd prove him wrong about something, he'd go on saying stuff like "I don't know why you came over here, you're asking me questions and then telling me I'm lying, I don't get it..Why can't you ever believe me?" And blah blah blah. Then he went on, trying to tell me that he's not with anyone. And that he has been getting lonely because his brother kept talking about his new girlfriends. And then proceeded to tell me that he meant it when he said I was the only one he wanted. I was crying at this point and he went to give me a hug.. the "best friend" that he cheated on me with almost pulled up in front of the house, that's how I knew to look up because he backed away from me. She was in front of there for 2.5 seconds and kept driving. I asked why that happened and he made up some excuse that there was a car in front of them. He tried telling me that he wasn't in much contact with her and he only saw her once in a while. She told me the same thing back when we were friends.
ALSO, he has spies at my damn work!! I got this new job after we broke up. I didn't realize till a few days ago that he knew them. They played it off really well. Not only that, but he got my sisters to keep it a secret that he was cheating on me with my best friend. They are trying to hard to act like they don't know what they (the ex boyfriend and friend) were up to, and at the same time telling me not to cry, and doing what they can to keep my mind off of him. I know that he was blackmailing them and I also know they didn't tell the truth after the breakup because he's still able to blackmail them about something, and they probably figured it'd hurt me even more if I knew the truth.
I am so embarrassed, I don't want to go back to work on Monday. But I have to keep working there until July because I am going through a temp agency. This town is sooooo small, it's so hard to find jobs, so a temp agency is the best I can do. I have to use up my hours there before they can find me a new one. I just keep telling myself that I should just ignore his spies and keep remiding myself that I will get out of this after a few weeks. He also tried telling me that he doesn't know where I work, even though everyone he knows has been asking me where I work, and I foolishly told them. Oh yeah, and his spies are trying to get me fired. Most of the people there either don't like me or are pretending to because his friends spread rumors about me. So now I get a lot of attiude, and it's hard to keep up my spirits.
Oh yeah, and when I was talking to him, he did end up giving me that hug. And he knows just how I like my hugs.. and he also knows just how I like my kisses, so he kissed me too. Then told me that it was s nice seeing me again and that it was good to hug and kiss me like that and that he'd still like to see me. UGH. He played the nice guy act, got everyone against me, even made me feel like my sisters were against me because I couldn't go to them to cry.. and even denied it all and made me reconsider if I do want him completly out of my life.
My sister came over here today, checked my mail and noticed I got my paycheck. She went with me to cash it and went shopping with me. She made me realize that if I were still with him, he'd make me spend my money on him (without saying it herself.. just showed me). She is such an awesome person, and I feel so lucky that I have a family that cares about me so much. My dad has even noticed I have been depressed.. he'd act sad when he'd notice that I haven't slept all night, and saw I wasn't eating so he'd buy me food that he knows I like. My ex knows how close I am with my family and is trying so hard to tear us apart. He may be able to take my friends away from me, but the people that matter the most, my family, he'll never be able to get rid of. I love them and they love me and there is nothing he can do about that.
The only thing that sucks is the fact that I don't feel like I can trust anyone. I can't cry to my family or let them know that I know what he's up to, because they'll change the subject on me as well and act like I shouldn't be crying. They act like I don't have the right to be hurt over this. I know that they're looking out for me and trying to do what's best, but what they don't get is it was hurting me even more, knowing I don't have a shoulder to cry on.
I'm sorry, I just had to get that all out.
Honey, she may be his victim, but now she's becoming your co-abuser.