Feeling sorry for abuser

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Feeling sorry for abuser
1
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 2:36am

Do you all feel like when things are going well that "it" won't happen again and that everything is going to be ok?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 9:45pm

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No no no. Uh-uh. It would be great if this were how it works, but it is not. You see, nothing is ever good enough for an abuser. No matter how hard you try to make it work, no matter how perfectly you act, they WILL find something to pick at. So, we can't advise you on how to do that, because no one can do the impossible.

It *will* happen again. I know you don't want to believe it will- none of us want/wanted to believe it did!- but it will. How do you know this? She has a track record of this behavior a yard long, she has stated flat out that she does not want to/cannot change, and a leopard does not change its spots so easily. The question is, is this really how you want to live the rest of your life? She's up and told you what she is. I think you would be wise to believe her.

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