Is this abuse?
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Is this abuse?
| Thu, 05-18-2006 - 2:43pm |
My husband and I were talking the other day and he always complains how loud I talk. That's just me. I am loud and expressive. I laughed and said "That's me, loud and flamboyant." I dress funky too. His reply, "Yeah you look like a transvestite." Then I asked him if I embarrass him and instead of saying no he said "I've gotten used to you." This is just the lastest in a series of things like this.


I'd have to know more about your situation to be able to say one way or another. For example, is this something that's part of a larger pattern of saying nasty things- "you're fat", "you're ugly", "nobody will ever want you", and the like? And has he ever been physically abusive to you?
Taken by itself, this incident sounds exactly like something my husband, who is the furthest thing there could possibly be from an abuser, would blurt out and completely not mean it the way it came out. However, abuse isn't so much about isolated incidents as it is the big picture and a larger pattern, and you know what that is better than we do.