Nasty breakup with husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
Nasty breakup with husband
1
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 9:24pm

Yesterday, being Sunday.. my husband went into an uncontrollable rage. He ripped the door off its hinge and threw the TV to the ground. When he tried to go after my Dad, I stepped in between them and he threw me to the ground. We had his bus ticket all ready to go but he got off before he reached the border and threatned to kill himself. So when police arrived to check that out they leaned that my Dad had pressed assault charges against him. ITs over for me. I dont want him back and I dont want to be married to him. I will feel better once he is over the border and I know he cant come back.
Trouble is, i know its over and have come to terms on it, but my heart still wants to drive down to the jail and see him, hug him, bring him home. I wont do any of that, its time for me to be me. Family and friends keep pushing me to go to a transition house. I feel like im admitting defeat by doing that. A councellor is coming to my house tomorrow to see me.
I feel so empty.....

. even though he threw me to the ground i have no marks or bruises, the doctor i saw today can attest to that he wanted to make sure i was ok that way.

A small update, he was released on his on terms, but he isnt allowed to leave the country, talk to me in anyway or my parents. He has called a friend of ours for help. She is going to tell him she is still his friend but she cant help him. All she can do is tell him to stay where he is, show up for court and deal with this the best he can,.Stick to the shelters (he has no money, he refuesd to take any from me) and reflect on whats happened. I am done with him. I cant take the chance anym ore that he may come back after me or when he has his next tantrum to hurt me. I realize now that i cant help him anymore.. only he can do that. Still its really hard for me not to worry about what hes eating, where hes sleeping that kinda thing. Im not a monster, i cant hate him, but he scares me now, and i may leave town for a few days , but dang it... i wont let him chase me away :(

Still feeling so lost and empty.

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 9:19am

What a frightening and painful experience! It might become difficult as time goes on, though, for you to hold on to your resolve, so please remember NO CONTACT! It's the only way to move on. Because you are a good person, it'll be difficult not to worry about him, but never forget all he's done to you. Write it all down if you need to so you can have something to remind you.