need to vent......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2002
need to vent......
1
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 5:44pm
I'm new here to the board. I havent spoken to anyone about what I have been through. I don't want my family or anyone around town to know. I feel humilitated & imbarrassed. It was memorial day weekend. It was Sunday. Things were going well until, toward the end. My husband thought it would be funny to smear chocolate on my face , we were eating smores bars. I told him no, I really didn't think it was funny. He smeared it on me anyway. So I grabbed a frying pan which probably wasnt a good idea & tapped him on the head with it. I didn't kill him with it. He just went into the house & fell asleep on the couch. After everyone left I went inside & he was still sleeping on the couch. It was around 8:30pm. I shut off the tv & went to get ready for bed. He got up & got really verbal & started yelling & screaming at me about the chocolate & frying pan incident previously. He began to push me & shove me & while were both screaming at each other. I pushed & shoved him back & he got even more mad & pushed me on the bed. He got on top of me & held me down by my arms. After he finally got off me, I got in his face & told him if he didn't stop it & leave me alone I would call the cops on him. There was a lot of verbal things said among both of us after that. I didn't like it when he put his hands on me first. He thought I would sit there & take it from him. I have the right to defend myself or at least try to. He has history with verbal abuse. This is the first time it became physical. He left bruses on my upper arms from holding me down & putting pressure on them. I didn't even know the marks were there that night. I noticed the next morning. Even if I did call the cops he would of been arrested & out on bail in a few hours anyways. I have to move & get out I know that. I have no place to go. I have no one to stay with. I have been looking for a place. He says I make him do this stuff & he is wrong ! He can't control himself. I'm not sure counceling would work with him. He's been trying to kiss up & act like I should just get over it. I just want out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 11:44am

I'm glad that you realize that you do NOT make him do this stuff. That's a very important step!

I know about small towns, believe me. If you don't want to contact the local DV shelter in yours, contact one in the next county or in the nearest big city. Their numbers would be available online or in your local Yellow Pages. They will be able to give you ideas as to what to do, and particularly how to handle your situation with the little town being involved.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com