Took Assault To Get Cops To Pay Attentio
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Took Assault To Get Cops To Pay Attentio
| Mon, 06-26-2006 - 8:10pm |
Well, as you all know, I thought it was over and done. however on saturday night he assulted me(split my lip, may have fractured my nose, kicked me in the head and stomach) and has now threatened to kill me and swears he will before he ever goes to jail...so needless to say im terrified he will carry through..i have charged him with assault, uttering threates, property damage and two other charges i cant remember plus a restraining order is being arranged against him but i still feel terrified he will kill me as i would not put it past him!

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javlyn e.......
I read your post the other day about it being 'over' and I was really happy you felt that was the case. Tonight I check out the boards and I am horrified to hear that he assaulted you again. I know how terrified you are.....I am terrified for you as I have a very similar kind of abusive man in my life. I am not close to him......I pray he is still right where I left him, 1500 miles away.....but knowing him as I do, he could be outside the door in the morning.
You did not mention if he was in jail, you said you were charging him with assault, etc,but not if they picked him up. He and my old man are terrorists. I have been physically assaulted, knives to my throat, choked, tossed about, punched, kicked, and even shot at once......and it took me 23 years to run away.....but I am still haunted every day and night. It has been many years since he has put his hands on me but he still uses his words to control me. He also has said he would rather kill me and then himself before they put him in jail. I know exactly the terror in your heart and soul.
These days its the flashbacks and resulting trauma from years of that kind of treatment that get me. Dreams of being strangled until I pass out are the worst.....what a way to wake up.
I also had some really great police officers in my former town that were looking out for me and they were so happy to hear that I was leaving and several hugged me and promised to line the streets with patrol cars the day I departed. It was sad that I had to leave the town I had called home for 18 years but it helped in a lot more ways than I ever expected. Mostly because I was not reminded all the time by the sights and faces of the painful memories.Is that an option for you???
Please keep posting, I feel like I know you. I care........
Good morning J-
I hope you were able to get some rest last night, I know how hard it is when you are afraid.
We haven't spoken of other personal facts about our lives as it can be too revealing but, I am curious about your age and marital status?? Also you say nothing about kids.....do you have any?? I am so glad to hear that you have your family near, I did not......go to them. It is the best thing you can do for yourself. You need them, they are there for you. I also understand worrying about them and what may happen. I never told my family or asked for their help. My sisters and brothers still don't know. I was too ashamed to tell them - still am. I was told that my family would suffer if they got in the way. Now he leaves my family out but threatens to kill any man that comes near me.
I also feel, as many victims do, that keeping the 'wolf' inside the doors is safer than having him out there lurking around someplace. So I speak to him on the phone several times a week and let him speak to our youngest daughter,if she is wanting to. She luckily didn't witness the major physical abuse of years ago but the threats and intimidation are very real to her. I have to get a divorce and put an end to this life for good but my mind is so messed up that I believe that serving him with papers will make things worse.....he says he has changed- hahaha - and he will be here in a month or so to try to win me back......I have tried to gently tell him I need time and space just to get settled here again. I am afraid of his ways not really of his physical abilities anymore. I am also afraid of the rage and anger that comes out of me when I speak to him or of him. I have been to counseling and that helps but haven't started any here yet.
I hope you are able to get the support system around you that is so necessary in these kinds of situations......it took me a LONG time to ask for it but when I did.....they came out of the woodwork and they are everywhere for me. I moved from the southwestern U.S.back to the northwestern U.S. where I spent my high school years and all with the help of some ex-relatives and old high school sweethearts. I have found my safe place.....and I am so happy and content....at least for now.....I must keep moving forward.
Have a good day, keep your head high and stay aware of that 'wolf' - I know it is probably your entire focus all day and night- terrible way to live life sweetie. Keep the faith and don't be like me and wait 23 years....I am here to listen....good luck....
Was just checking in to see how you are......been wondering about you........you ok????
well now he has another charge against him! B & E!!!! he broke into my house(and yes it is considered B&E which is weird but because he hasnt lived with me in over a month its no longer his residence) because i refused to let him in to get a hockey bag full of dirty clothes as i was dropping it at his moms that night anyways...but he called my cell today and left a message that he is turning himself in tomorrow am(there is a warrant out for his arrest) but he will most likely be out by tomorrow afternoon pending trial...but there will be an order restirctin ghim from coming near me, calling me, emailing me, anything...the thing is, i almost felt bad for him because he sounded so sad and down...but then i remembered im the victim here not him....he made these choices and has to live with them...i cant just let him get away with it because i have a soft spot for him..which i do...otherwise this wouldnt have dragged out this long..we might not have even married if i hadnt been such a "i can change him" kind of woman...but anyways other than that im ok...im feeling a lot more happy..i actually went out for drinks last night and tonight and dressed up! i felt attractive and fun for the first time in MONTHS! so maybe this is it...i can only hope so..anyways thanks so much for the concern and ill keep u posted on the situation!!
jacqui
hi there.......
So glad to get your message.....was hoping that you were ok since the last post and it sure sounds like you have had a really good few days. I am very happy to hear you even had some carefree time - thats something I don't get much of, but have learned to find time for simple pleasures. I have also had it 'programmed' into my head that I wasn't worthy of much after years of neglect and disrespect.
On the subject of your ex........did you get the restraining order and was it served?? If so, he was in violation of it by calling you......I imagine it hasn't been served as he is still on the run. Don't believe him when he says he is going to turn himself in.....he is trying to show you in some stupid way that he is 'changing' or seeing the error of his ways. You and I both know that is a line of B.S.
I recieved another letter from my old man......he sent me 100 bucks to help me out......I don't know where he gets his figures from but that doesn't go far at all in raising a 13 yr old girl.....lol. He also called yesterday and today. I don't have a restraining order out on him right now but he is 1500 miles away and won't be able to get here without me knowing he left the state. My best friend there lives right up the street from him and keeps a very close eye on him and chats with me on line every day. She will even stop by just to be nosy and keep me informed. When he calls, sometimes I will talk but not everytime. And he gets upset because I won't say what he wants to hear. I can't say I care anymore. That died along with everything else . Now I only feel sorry for him. He had it all.
I don't know if you are familiar at all with country western music.....but I have a song that I like and have listened to for the last 5 years or so.....Rascall Flatts - "I'm Moving On" It came out when I had left my husband and was hurting so bad from his infidelity and years of abusive ways. You should check it out....it gives me great strength when I need it.
Thanks for the update.....hope he isn't lying to you about turning himself in.....but I'm not holding my breath. Men that are abusive are chicken-s#%* and jail scares them. They lose all control over their lives and all their rights. They can't function.
Keep the faith and stay strong......he is still out there and that worries me......he broke into your house........do not let him scare you but don't put yourself in harm's way. I am lucky to be alive - alot of women are not. As you have said before - don't let him make you an example for your family to share with others.....I know how you feel about that....me too.
Javlyn, have you contacted the police yet to tell them he contacted you, and where he is?
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