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| Tue, 06-27-2006 - 11:33am |
Hello everyone,
I guess I'm here looking for a place to belong, a place where people understand what I'm going through, and where I might be able to get some help. I'm 24 years old and my husband and I have been married for almsot 4 years. The first two were fine, it's the last two I've been having some problems with.
My hubby has always played in bands, which I don't have a problem with. However as time has went on he has done more drinking and more drugs, which I do have a problem with. Each time he gets drunk he comes home and picks fights with me, for no reason other than his own insecurities. The drinking & drugs have slowly led to him not working, not wanting to work, and being the laziest man in the world around the house, he doesn't help me at all, save doing the dishes about once a week.
The abuse has predominantly been emotional and verbal. He is extremely jealous, which has led to me pretty much never leaving the house, because when I come home I get 20 questions about where I've been & what I've been doing. I can't even go out with him, because he always acuses me of trying to pick up his friends.
Last summer he did hit me, and push me around a bunch of times. I left him for about three months. We were doing a lot better, and he was making an effort, going to counselling with me, and things like that. We decided to leave our hometown about six months ago and move across the country to live near my family. I must say things have been better since then.
However the last little while he's been slipping back into his old habits. Going out drinking all night with his friends, coming home & hurtling abuse at me. It has gotten to the point where honestly I can't even stand him anymore, and I don't think I love him anymore. I'm sick to death of walking around on eggshells! I want my life back. But I am so afraid to leave him. I know he will flip out completely, and probably push me around or worse, not to mention he will wreck my stuff. Now I know "stuff" seems like a silly thing to worry about, but I've worked hard for the few things I have.
I know I will eventually get the "balls" to leave him, but in the meantime I'm looking for some emotional support, and all the help I can get. Thanks for listening.
Linda

Sorry to hear about what you aregoing through. My H gets a lot more abusive when he drinks, too. And he drinks all the time. I wish that the guy I met was the one I am living with today, you know? I understand your concern with him damaging your things, my H does that too. I have learned to keep real important possessions at my mom's house. But, I shouldn't have to.
I just wanted you to know tha I understand what you are going through, and I know how hard it is. Remember, he has no right to judge you!
Welcome, Linda.
Thank you for the suggestions. I think I will look up the local women's organization this week and see what services they have to offer. And thank you for listening ladies.