I need some help

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2006
I need some help
2
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 1:28pm
I have been with my husband for 5 years. He has been controlling and abuse just about the whole time. We have 3 small children ages 3, 2, and 10 months. I had him arrested and a restraining order was put out on him at the beginning of May the day after he went to jail I found out that I am pregnant again--NOT SOMETHING I WANTED!! Now don't get me wrong I will love this child like the gift from God that it is but this goes back to his controlling ways were I was telling him I wasn't ready for another child but he wouldn't allow prevention. He hasn't allowed me to work since the 2 year old was born but he won't give me enough to pay the bills either he says that I spend it on junk or whatever but how when I can't even keep the bills paid. There for a while he was only giving me a little over $1000 a month to pay the bills now our house payment and car payment are 900. that doesn't include insurance, utilities, cable, phone, diapers, clothes, etc. So anyway like an idiot after he got out of jail about 2 weeks later I let him come back because he told me he would go to counseling make changes etc. Well as of thursday he still hasn't called to set up the COURT ORDERED counseling and has made no effort to do anything that he told me he was going to do when he came back so when he went to work Friday morning I locked the doors and left (he doesn't have his house key back). I have made the final step in getting away from him but now my situation is that I am unemployed with 3 small children and now pregnant again with a house payment I don't have any money cause he has it all and no one to keep the kids for me to go find a job because he isolated me from everyone. He has disappeared (I think) so I don't think I will be able to get any support from him and I'm just lost on what to do. Please HELP!!!! I'm sorry this is so long! Please ask if you have any questions I need all the advice I can get.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 10:35am
You've made the first, most important, step by getting away from him. Now, your best bet is to contact your local DV shelter. They can help you find resources to take care of money, job, etc. They should be accessible through the Yellow Pages of your local phone book; if not, try the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. Again, the resources are out there, and they can help you find them for your area.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 8:56pm
Definitely get in touch with a shelter.