hello i'm new here

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2006
hello i'm new here
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:20am
well im new and lets see this is my story my husband was my childhood bf . we dated in middle school til i moved away. then many years later i found myself running into him at a resteraunt. we got back together right after and within a few days were living in the same house with 2 room mates. then we lived with family and i got pregnant. we desided to get married after only being together 3 mts. we set the wedding for feb 2005. at thanksgiving i lost the baby. we were hurt we desided to get married anyways we were living with his mom til jan. 05 we got our own place it was nice then he quit his job/ we got married and he stayed out of work for 5 weeks. That was hard. In April we were working in the same shop and then in may he switched jobs. We started trying to have a baby and on May 19th 2005 while at my grandmother and moms house my husband did something i never thought possible.He slapped me for me eating something.i freaked out so did my family. We were in trouble, he begged me not to leave him and i cryied all the time. when june came we desided one more try he seemed to straighten up. We were trying to make it work then in August My Grandmother died,i learned i was having a baby the day before Hurricane Katrina hit then we buried my grandmother in september. and here was hurricane rita and being from louisiana really sucked at this time. My husband moved in his mom and sister which made my life Hell . i told him in october about the baby he was happy i was extremly happy.and he got a new job finally in november. after hardly working since katrina hit. the same day he started working tragedy struck. i was 4 mts pregant when i fell down the stairs and started bleeding well that night i lost my baby boy. and my marriage went stupid again my husband and me faught all the time and his mom was still moving in and out but his sister lived here. then she began telling him and other relatives lies that i would cheat and the fighting got worse he took her side all the time. In feb we celebrated the first anniversary of our wedding and in March we were going talk to a divorce lawyer He threw his sister out and we tryied again . We keep trying this one more time he treats me like crap half the time he blames the miscarriages on me. He blames us having a hard time getting pregnant on me also. It is now June turning July and in a few days i will once again learn if im Pregnant. i just started working for Avon as a sales Rep. and i'm saving money in my own private account and one of my friends has me selling stuff on wholesale for his company to save some just in case money. i cry alot i love him but i dont know if it is enough all the time. He plays mind games one day wants a divorce one day dont one day throws me out and wants me to stay. I didnt leave him yet because i cant go back live with family there is no room for me. And i want it to work because i love him i just dont want to hurt or be hit or be scared he will loose his temper and all again. i know things could be good and much worse. i'm sorry if it to long please id like the feedback on what you all think and take case
Thanks