I never knew I could hate
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I never knew I could hate
| Tue, 07-04-2006 - 3:55am |
I never knew I could hate him like this.... TP and I have been together for almost 7 years I was very young and well he was not.. I came from a abusive childhood raped and tormented for years. He told me he was good for me. We got pregnant very early maybe 4 months into what I thought was the most perfevt relationship I had ever seen. Now I hate him, I was never really happy, I always knew that he had a temper and we would split up alote he'd kick me and our daughter out in a heartbeat he used to say well you have family to go to I don't. We had good times and then bad times, recently though I though we had made it been through it all. His cheating our finacial problems. I thought we had hit the easy ride. We were going to make it. I found out we were pregnant and we were happy.. God we sure were he was sure it would be a boy and we had tried for so long with no success. Then he accuses me of cheating.... Due to a cell phone bill. We fight over it and he calls me every name possible tells me I was and will always be a whore.. mmmmm it hurts but I keep my head high cause I know what I am. Then we deciede to put it all behind us and give it all we have, Well I guess it was not much cause he calls me and says "I don't want to start this with you agian but I got the phone bill and I need to know why you lied to me and who are you sleeping with ?" I say " Noone drop it we meet up and I tell him to calm down. His screaming and shoves me and puts his face right to my face and screams at me calling me a whore (and well you know all the kind words they say)He starts to put his finger in my face still yelling and I push him away hard tell him to stop. He yells You F#@!(88 hit me. then with full force he punchs mein the face rattles my teeth and leaves me in a state of shock had it not been for the car behind me Iwould of fallen, I turn to leave and then turn to him and make an attempt to grab him ask him for the money that he owes me for my car payment. He pushs me hard enough to knock me a good 5 feet onto traffic and off my shoes.... All I remember was laying on that floor dress up above my waist and feeling humilated, I stood and ran to my car where I drove to my family's home. See he had never really hit me, just yelled and scared me and well all the rest but never hit me. I have my daughter with me and plan to start a new life. I miscarried that night, and I feel numb I hate him .. with all that I have I hope to never see him again. My mom said that this was what I needed to hate him.. but my question is.. Is there life after this ? I'm 26 and starting school again. Do we really make it? I am scared and I feel so broken inside like someone tore me open and left me all alone to die.All I need is to hear that yes we do make it.. So please anyone tell me that I will.

Lola, welcome.
Greetings Lola hun.....
I'm one of the CL's on the Domestic Abuse: New Beginnings board - the one Gonna referred you too, and I am here to tell you, that in response to your questions, that YES, there IS life after abuse.