Is anyone else going through this

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Is anyone else going through this
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 2:07pm
I've been in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship (sometimes physical) for 4 years now and I believe it's finally over. The sad part is, is that I sunk to his level. After he called me the worst names, I went right back at him, calling him the worst names, hoping to hurt him, the way that he hurt me so many times over. I do not feel good about this. He yelled, ranted and raived all he wanted, and I felt crazy, as this is not what I hoped for. I was affectionate that night and was having fun with the company that we had over. He was out of sorts, he was bringing up his ex who hapened to be in town and he invited a guy over who he didn't consider a friend and doesn't at all like. He went to bed before our company left and as it turns out, he was mad at me for talking to the wife of his boss to long. I also didn't respond appropriately to something he said. I think I said something like "oh yeah". He leads such a controversial life, its always, my god, he did that to you. She said what? I can't believe it. You poor poor man. So upon going to bed, I knew he was mad at me, and I was upset with him for leaving me to say goodbye to his guests. The yelling began, I was calm at this point and hoping for love and affection, and he was so angry. Everything kind of goes fuzzy at this point as my emotions go into overdrive. I don't remember exactly what is said, but I know I went downstairs to check on my children and my daughter is still awake. I go back upstairs and ask him to think about the kids and he finally agreed to shut up after saying all these things, I went at him with verbal abuse right back. It was sickening, I was sick. We both drank that night and I wish that I could have just kept my mouth shut and went to sleep, and I don't mean to make excuses for myself, but the alcohol made my emotions run high. I don't ever want to be that way again.


Edited 7/6/2006 3:13 pm ET by greeneyedgirl1970