Will it happen again??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Will it happen again??
3
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 9:19pm
I am new to this board but I wanted to get someone else's opinion. Well a little back ground information: I have been married for almost 13 years and have two wonderful boys, who are 8 and 7. My husband drank for many years and became very violent last summer. It start I believe many years ago when he lost his job. He was very verbal with me. So last summer I decided to try to find out who I was. I went away for a weekend with the girls with his approval. When I got home we had the police here with in ten minutes for yelling at each other. Well it didn't stop there he hit me one night and the boys were watching, and that seemed to continue until a weekend in November when I knew in order to keep myself and my boys safe we needed to leave. Many times he kicked the crap out of me and the last time he tried to rape me when the boys were there. We took off for Thanksgiving weekend. I told him he had to stop drinking. He has since that weekend, but now I can't have friends and I always have to be home. I went for a walk and got accused of having an affair. In fact he accuses me and then says he is only kidding. I still have nightmares of him beating me. I stayed because I love him, but fear is holding me back from actually loving him. And the point that he still accuses me of things that haven't even happened. I guess is is possible to forgive and forget, and what are the chances that this will never happen again?? Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 10:02pm

Welcome trilliants...


I used to CL on this board, now I'm next door at the domestic abuse: new beginnings board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 11:50am

The odds of it never happening again? The odds are that it WILL happen again, and again, and again, etc., until you either leave him (and pray he doesn't come after you), or worse, he ends up killing you.

It will not get better with him, only worse.

Please, for your safety and the safety of your sons, get out now!

Katie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:18am
While it's not possible to predict anything, the statistical answer is, almost certainly. There were issues that caused him to abuse in the first place (HIS issues, not yours and nothing you caused), and unless he comes to realize that it is HIS problem and undergo intensive treatment, this will continue and will happen again. It will only stop if you leave. Abusers, unfortunately, don't work under normal rules of society, and admitting they're wrong is #1 of Things They Don't Do.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com