Problems With Dad
Find a Conversation
Problems With Dad
| Fri, 10-27-2006 - 1:56pm |
I've not posted on here for awhile, but I do need to vent. This is about my dad. I'm 46 years old, highly college-educated, own my own home, financially secure, have 2 kids - one 19 and one 5. My problem is with my parents who are in their late 70s. My whole life they have acted jealous of me/treated me badly at times. It seems like whenever things are going the best for me, they try to jump in the middle of it and ruin it. My dad has admitted that he is jealous of me - totally inappropriate in my humble opinion. They have said they don't like my current spouse (again, inappropriate and I don't think I ever told my husband that). Also that my 5 year old daughter was "a mistake". I've tried to deal with that, and keep a relationship with them, but this last thing they did may have been the last straw. My husband and I hunt deer not only to keep the population down in a rural area, but we also eat the meat throughout the year. It's not like we do it just for the heck of it. My dad did a global email to his distribution list of deer in people's yards, and even in their houses, with the message "tell the hunters to put their guns down". He used to be a hunter himself. They eat meat - what do they think is done to cows and hogs to get the meat in the grocery?? Anyway, I emailed back reminding him that his son in law hunts, and daughter's family eats the meat. Then my sister forwarded it to me too, and I opened it and meant to email her that you'd never know he used to be a hunter himself. I mistakenly sent it to him, so he called me this morning to blast me at work over how stupid I am. This is a long story - but I'll try to make it short. His real problem is that his little dog, who they think more of than their own 2 daughters, is sick and dying and they are distraught over it and stupidly spending thousands (I do mean thousands) on stupid vet tests only to find out he's 12 years old and has renal failure. (That was known before they spent $1200 on a pet MRI which, according to them, is not going to allow them to come home for Christmas. They sold their homes awhile back and have been living in and RVing full-time). Once again, they see me semi-happily married, in a nice home, good job, etc, and now they try to do what they can to keep me upset and ruin it. I'm fed up with their stupidity. He called to start an argument with me at work this morning - I hung up on him. Deep down I am still fuming over his telling me that our daughter was a mistake - she's a really sweet vivacious 5 year old who is the apple of our eye - I will never be sorry I had her. My husband lost a son through a nasty divorce, hence, I got my tubes retied and had her when I was 41. We are both in good physical shape - it actually was an easier pregnancy than my son 18 years before. My parents have not cranked up for awhile. The last time was when I was showing horses on the Central Kentucky circuit, and winning championships right and left. They had the nerve to show up to one horse show and when I was warming the horse up they told my trainer she needed to get away from me because I "had a family to take care of". I was around 35 at the time, I only showed maybe once a month, and I did not neglect my family. They had no business doing that, but I let it slide because they were my parents and I thought I was supposed to forgive them (although it would never cross their minds that they were probably the ones who should have been apologetic). I've been through counseling for years before with an abusive spouse who I'm sorry I stayed 23 years with. One counselor thought I've been severely abused, alot through my parents, throughout my childhood. He said I should consider myself as someone who's survived many "train wrecks". In spite of this, I am successful and was content until this last blowup. Anyway, I hope this all makes sense, but it really is the first time I've totally put my foot down with them and I'm letting them know I'm not tolerating any more of their foolishness. He has no business calling me at work (yes, he's jealous of my job too) and disturbing me. I'm about done, and need to get back to work. Thank you for letting me vent. Any constructive comments are welcome. Please do not "blast me", I've had enough of that for one day....

you might get more from here
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-rlfamilymatt&nav=start
good luck