When he starts acting all sweet try and remember how the abuse cycle works. It goes from the build-up stage to the explosion to the hearts and flowers stage. He is only being sweet because that is part of the cycle. Soon enough it will just build-up and he will explode. It is the cycle, and the only way to stop the cycle is to end it and for you to move out. The thing with abusers, when they are fine and chipper they think that everyone around them should be fine and chipper too. They don't care about anybody except themselves. He don't care that you are still upset about the fight... he is fine with it so you should be too!! That is not how any relationship should work. He is only thinking about himself here. Now..you are not blowing it out of proportion okay! He is verbally abusive and you are not over reacting. It is seriuos and most likely it will get worse and move along to physical abuse. You know what, other couples do fight.. but the man doens't call the women a bitch or a wh*re or a loser or to F-Off or that they hate you... that is not how normal healthy relationships go. You are doing a good job and you are not blowing things out of poportion.
I totally understand that you know no different than the way you are being treated. It will really help you talking to friends and family and posting on here. You will start to realize that it is not right and it is unhealthy.
When he starts acting all sweet try and remember how the abuse cycle works. It goes from the build-up stage to the explosion to the hearts and flowers stage. He is only being sweet because that is part of the cycle. Soon enough it will just build-up and he will explode. It is the cycle, and the only way to stop the cycle is to end it and for you to move out. The thing with abusers, when they are fine and chipper they think that everyone around them should be fine and chipper too. They don't care about anybody except themselves. He don't care that you are still upset about the fight... he is fine with it so you should be too!! That is not how any relationship should work. He is only thinking about himself here. Now..you are not blowing it out of proportion okay! He is verbally abusive and you are not over reacting. It is seriuos and most likely it will get worse and move along to physical abuse. You know what, other couples do fight.. but the man doens't call the women a bitch or a wh*re or a loser or to F-Off or that they hate you... that is not how normal healthy relationships go. You are doing a good job and you are not blowing things out of poportion.
Lauren
I totally understand that you know no different than the way you are being treated. It will really help you talking to friends and family and posting on here. You will start to realize that it is not right and it is unhealthy.
Here are some websites for you to check out:
http://cl-wishful78.tripod.com/RDAHomePage.cfm
http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/
www.womenslaw.org
http://www.drjoecarver.com/
click on the 'Identifying Losers in Relationships" under articles