Any advice on sexual abuse as a child?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2006
Any advice on sexual abuse as a child?
2
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 11:41pm
I was recently diagnosed as bipolar1. Had to have a nervous breakdown and leave my family and move to another state before I found out.The bipolar wasn't the only reason, I was mentally abused by him for 20 years, and by my parents for seventeen years(and physically abused by them too). I knew I was sexually abused as a child (8 years old),( by a next door neighbor) and I remember telling my mom and her doing nothing about it. My counselor said that is why I have the bipolar. I am on meds and doing well. But how can I come to terms with the abuse and the fact that mom did nothing about it? Sad to say but her not protecting me hurts worse than what he did to me. She and I have never gotten along and had been trying to for the past 2 years. But now that I know that she had a part in my having this disorder, I don't feel like I can have anything else to do with her.
I am trying to heal and get on with my life and make a new life, one without the pain.But this "monster inside me" (the bipolar)still rears it's ugly head sometimes. Suicide had been a constant thought and I almost gave in. I am learning ways to fight it, but still cry and get scared very easily. Will I ever heal ? Can handle the disorder, but sometimes the pain in my heart is more than I can bear! Some one please help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 12:01pm

Hey Sexy_06 :o)

This probably isn't the best advice, but I really think it's a good idea for you to go see a counsellor. You have dealt with a lot in your life and I really think that would help you. If you are having suicidal thoughts you should also check out that board.

If you ever need somebody to talk to, call the suicide number at 1-800-SUICIDE
Or, you can call the Domestic Violence # at 1.800.799.SAFE

Here are some boards that you might like to check out as well:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhsuicidesur?ice=ivl,searchmb

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlcrisis?ice=ivl,searchmb

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhbipolar?ice=ivl,searchmb

Post as much as you like. We are all here for you okay.
Lauren

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2006
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 12:35pm
I am in counseling. And those thoughts a less and less now. But sometimes the "monster" rears it's ugly head and I fight it. I don't want to die..............but the monster tries to make me feel worthless and think that everyone would be better off if I was no longer around. Had to fight that every day of my life for the past year. Got so low down that I was afraid I would loose the battle. But somehow I held on. I guess I am stronger than I think. Promise..........I won't do anything stupid. And if the monster tries to take over..............I'll call someone. Again thank you so very much !!!!!!!!!!!!!