Is he that 1% that can change?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Is he that 1% that can change?
3
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 11:13am

How do you know?? How do you know if he can be that 1% that make a change??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 12:13pm

A 25 minute discussion and pie crust promises to change aren't what you are looking for.

Blueliner4
(aka The Pixie Princess)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 1:20pm

I totally agree with everything that blueliner said.

He really is grabbing at straws here to try and convince you that he is changing. He knows that he is losing control and power over you so he will do anything and say anything to convince you to stay. He is saying about the belly piercing to make you believe that he can change. He is starting to allow you to do certain things.. but it really will just go back to the way it was before. Yes, they all seem sincere when they are begging us to stay and to give them one more chance. That is the way they are. They do seem very sincere and sorry ... but it doesn't last. Its all about the abuse cyclce.

Yes, he might be in the 1%. BUT it will take years and years for him to change. He will need to go to long term therapy and counselling and be willing to change. If he doesn't think he even has a problem, then I really doubt he will ever change.

It is totally up to you if you want to give him another chance... but my opinion is that you run away and never go back. He won't change anytime fast. Yes, it's great that you made an appointment for Monday... but he needs and appointment about abuse not health and anger. When I left my abuser he begged and begged me to stay and give him one more chance. He did go to counselling and he thought that would make me stay and give him another chance. But nope it didn't. I was getting stronger and I had to stand up for what I wanted. I started to see right thru his begging and crying.

Lauren

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 5:10pm

Blue said it.