Venting-Long!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Venting-Long!
2
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 9:09am

Talked with the lawyer yesterday, used H's calling card # since we don't have long distance. I can leave, but "lose some leverage to get things done quickly". Also found out that unless I can document at the time (I'd have to file) his savings acct amount, that I won't be entitled to any. I'm so sick! That's where he puts it all, and tax returns too and I wont even end up with any to help get me on my feet! I hate him so much right now, cause what kind of person sets up a marriage that way, where only one person has rights, options? Like I really have to explain any of that to you.!I don't have $3000. to file, but may ask a family member about borrowing it. Also found out that his lawyer is one of the all out fighting lawyers. If it comes down to it, I'll argue equity in the house and all the rest, cause of course with the house being his, he's dumped a whole lot of money into it. Screw it, I want this done. Every acct is in his name, he'll close everyone, cause he can. He really thinks that I'm deserving of nothing, cause he works full time!

Last night he used the van to go vote and run to the store, left it on E, than wouldn't give me $5. for gas to take DD to basketball practice! I had to take bottles back. Said he didn't have money, I said he did, he looked in his wallet said yeah, I do, but wouldn't give me any. Than Mr. Sweet and wonderful, come home and he's playing a game with my daughter, one he rarely has a converstaion with, and asking my other about BB games, as if he'd go! Suck up. He's pulling all the tricks he can, cause he knows I'm not backing down. I really hope he has this appt to file today, I want to be served. I want to get this over.

I think of all the crap he's done over the past 8 years. I'm so numb to him, I feel nothing for him. I hate being in this house with him. I hate living here because it doesn't feel like home, we don't feel like family. I'm sick to my stomach to think of all the times he bought toys for his kids, while there was barely food. How he has money for hunting stuff or whatever, but I don't even have access to any money other than my support and $100./week! That feeds us, when I buy sports stuff for the kids or clothes, we get by with little food. I hate that for Dr. appts I have to ask for his debit card if I need gas or co-pay money. He's broken my curling iron cause he doesn't like it left on the counter, thrown out washcloths cause they were left in the tub, broken a few of my phones. I realize it could be worse, but I just can't stop dwelling on everything that's hurt somedays. Last night with the gas $ put me over. 2 days before I had my breakdown and had to go on medication, I was listening to a CD in the van after the kids went to be, trying to relax, and he unhooked the battery cause I wouldn't come in the house. I felt like I was 2 years old. Than when I came in he told me to call the cops, said he'd tell them I was drinking and was trying to leave. DS came down, he told him I was going to have to start looking for apartments. Last night had a fit cause I left the upstairs bathroom window open, my bad, but I was smoking in there, left it open and shut the door to air it out. Don't you know, he's going o take the handle off so I can open it, blah, blah, blah! I just can't take it.

I'm sorry for rambling on. I wish he could just shut his big mouth! Wish me luck?
Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: cschristiaa
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 11:19am

I am so sorry for all he is putting your through. Do what you need to do to save your sanity....

I am living in the house - he is no longer here and has not been for some time. But I have never felt like this was my house either. I bought decorations for the windows, etc. and I couldn't bring myself to put them up because this just isn't my house. The longer I stay the more I could get too - but at some point I just have to cut my losses and go because he will never leave me alone. I will never get on with my life as long as I am here.

I hope your day gets better. I am glad to hear you are not backing down...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
In reply to: cschristiaa
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 1:23pm

Thanks, and I am feeling a little better. It's frustrating, but I know no matter what I walk away with, my kids and my independence and dignity will be all I need. I forgot to mention in my post that when I was going to sleep he came to ask me if I used his credit card a couple of times at 11:30pm! The card he keeps in his wallet with him and sleeps with it next to his bed! I think he made that up, just to stir me.

I gave up on decorating too, why bother? Thanks a lot, hope your day is going well.
Carrie