Continuation of my story

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2005
Continuation of my story
3
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 12:57pm

Here is an example that makes me feel like I am nuts. He told me to go look for a car after he got sick of going with me. These types of comments are an everyday occurance.

I emailed him and told him he cannot treat me this way any longer. Pointed out how his behavior was abusive and disrespectful to me and my daughter.

His reply:
My point is your over whelming me and that's not good for us. If you have so much time and energy to go car shopping than why can't you help me around the house?

I did not mean to hijack the other thread something just struck me and I was able to find the words to post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2005
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 1:02pm

This is his second email referring to my being fed up.

Minus all the crap below.....What do you think about waiting till January. Does it make sense to you or are you in a uproar and .......

Your loving husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 12:04pm
I know what you mean, they completely disregard your concerns, turn it around as though you are selfish, or crazy. I've tried to point out to h that our relationship is not the example we should be setting for the kids, somehow I'm blaming him, then there's all these things I should be doing, whatever. Our concerns will never matter, cause they only think of themselves.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 12:49pm

You are not nuts.. he is just making you feel like you are the crazy one. That is what all abuser do. They blame their SO and say that they are crazy. It just takes the attentions away from the real problem....... which is HIM! He is switching stories around. He is making you feel guilty when you shouldn't feel guilty. You being overwhelming is not the problem. HE is not good for you guys. HE is the problem not you! I hate how he signed the letter 'your loving husband' He is going back and forth from good to bad and it is such a rollercoaster!!

I'll tell you a story... I was watching a movie with my abuser one night. I didn't understand a part, so we rewinded it. I still didn't understand it so I just said I would deal with it and figure it out. My abuser blew up and threw the flicker accross the room and broke it and stormed into the bedroom. I am shocked at what just happened. He ended up coming out a little while later and saying that 'I' need to learn to say what I am feeling and that 'I' should have just rewinded it again and asked him to explain it again. He didn't take any blame here!!!!!! The thing is, it was his fault for throwing the flicker and blowing up but he blamed it on me. It was not my fault, but I was the one apologizing.

They really do have a way of twisting stories around to blame somebody else.

Lauren

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