I Need Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
I Need Help
3
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 1:10pm
At the the present time I am living in a marriage that is emotional abusive. I have support from my parents and my counselor. I am thinking of leaving, but I am scared. He said he can get really mean if wants to be. I am he third wife. His second wife said he hit her after they married. He also makes a lot of threats of suiside or destroying or my things. Thanks for listening.
Cindy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
In reply to: sober1368
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 1:42pm

Hi Cindy! Welcome :)

I am happy to hear that you have support from your family and your counsellor. You also have support from this board.. so post as much as you like okay. Are you going to see the counsellor by yourself or with your husband? I ask because it would be a bad idea to go to counselling with an abusive partner.

You will leave when you are ready. Of course you are scared. But if you stay any longer with this man, I am positive that it will get physical. He was physically abusive with his 2nd wife, there is no doubt in my mind that it won't turn physical with you if you continue to stay with this man.

Abusers always make threats when we victims say we are going to leave or break up. Here is a link of a list that abusers will say when we try to break free:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlmakeitstop&msg=11856.1&ctx=4096

Good Luck & post as much as you like. We are all here for you
Lauren

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
In reply to: sober1368
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 2:02pm
Hi Lauren,
Thanks for replying. My counselor just sees me and I also go to a trauma group,which I call a therapy group for his benefit. He asks questions about what my councelor and I talk about. Thanks again.
Cindy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
In reply to: sober1368
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 4:24pm
This is y so many women choose to stay!!I've been in a bad custody battle with my ex. He got ahold to the kids now he kept them. He has a expensive attonory. Legal aide will not help. The cheapest lawyer wants $5,000.00 . I don;t have that kind of money period. I don't make much and I still have my oldest son and bills out the ass to pay. I have no family been on my own since 13. I left the kids dad I got tried of him putting his hands on me and all that drunk stuff. He's got a long criminal history for hitting on meand being drunk. My 3 younger kids case is in jacksonville, florida. He keeps calling me to come home but I've been gone 3 years i'm not going back to him. I just want my kids home. We were never married and he did not establish paternity but on one child but The police nor DCF will help they said there hands are tied because I don't deny paternity. This man is pissed off that i left him and is using the kids as a way to make me come back.He refuses to let me see or talk to them. There is someone who can help me. Please forward this to all you know. for information or any one willing to accuatly help me the case number is 16-2005-DR-5319-FMXX , Duval County Jacksonville, Florida,to anyone that might think this is made up. I really need help. The cost getting to and from florida for court i take off work, no job no money!, I got trial coming up in march so I have to find a lawyer before that. carolyn lilbitcraze@yahoo.com