Leaving today!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Leaving today!
8
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 8:39am

I was downstairs alone with him after the kids went to bed, honestly waiting for him to call the cops again. Luckily, Sunday night the kids were awake to back me up. What will he do w/o witnesses? He is desperate, I'm afraid. I'm leaving.

Will have to call the lawyer, find out what I have rights to, but staying is no longer an option. I was worried about the kids, and they will be upset with me. We'll have to wake up an hour early to drive to school. I'll have to take at least tomorrow and next week off from sitting. Even if they're upset, I need to do this, I'm the Mom here. No more guilt.

I'll check back in, have a few calls to make. Wish me luck!

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 11:45am

Hey lady -


Good for you for making this choice.

Blueliner4
(aka The Pixie Princess)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 12:09pm
Hi Carrie. Lots of good luck. I am so sorry about all of this happening to you at Christmas, but you will get through it... It looks another poster gave you tons of information - the keys near you is a really good bit of information. Copies of the keys hidden, don't leave the keys near the door (where he can just run in and grab them). I don't know how far your guy will go - but pulling the wires out of the car to prevent anyone from leaving the house use to be a famous trick of my fathers....Keep us posted as you safely can!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 12:17pm

Hey Carrie,

I totally agree with everything that Blueliner posted to you. Follow that list.

Keep us posted. You are doing the right thing :o)

Hugs!
Lauren

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-1997
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 2:20pm

Go girl and get your freedom!!

I applaud your decision and stand with you.

Tie up every loose end you can think of and make sure you have all of your important papers with you.

RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK!

Praying for your safety and that of your children,
~H

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 8:15pm

I didn't do it! He came home, says he filed today, but can stop it at anytime. I'm here for tonight, kind of as a compromise. I told him I was taking the kids to my Mom's to stay and he offered to leave. He's gone for tonight. I know it's a mistake though.

He pulled the Jekyll/Hyde business, but of course by than I'd have gotten to Mom's after bath/bedtime. It's almost ideal now, his behaviour to me. he comes off all concerned for the kids not being in their own beds, but 20 min later he must have realized that I'd still be leaving and was asking me about it. So when he 1st came home he asked if I wanted the divorce, I told him there wasn't any other way. When I came home he's telling me he's not stopping an of it, unless I change. What I've realized is that actually used to work on me! What? His parting words "I'll be gone for the night", mine "okay".

Not leaving tonight was a mistake, but I have tomorrow. I'll go before he gets home. I talked to the lawyer, he said in my case (and called him calling the cops "fraudulent accusations") leaving was all I could do. I explained to him that I felt like I was waiting for him to break something and call on me. Cause I believe he wanted me arrested. He can't say another bad word about me. I cook, clean take care of the kids, do day care, sports, the kids and this home have been my life, the kids still are. He needs leverage, cause I'm not playing on his terms anymore. There's a chance he'll break my stuff. I'll take pictures of everything before I go if I can't get the local cop to come see the house. Cause I'm also worried he might accuse me of doing damage. He's called the cops already.

Thanks everyone! I prayed and prayed today to feel better and for strength, I'll pray for everyone here. It has helped so much! Even my anxiety is gone! Thanks again!

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 9:20pm

I'm a little disappointed in myself cause I fell for him offering to leave, but will correct myself tomorrow. I'm in the house, he's not. Tomorrow while he's working I'll pick the kids up after school and go. For tonight, after reading your suggestions, I locked every window and door, incase.

As far as abduction, I had to check in with village PD before, went to my moms for a night when he was out of control. Sheriff's were here last time though. I'm getting a prepaid cell phone tomorrow. An RO? Can I get that with emotional abuse? How do I prove it? Luckily the lawyer thinks family court will get me in quick if I explain the situation, I can file all at once, w/o a lawyer for maintenence, support and custody. What do I tell schools? Until I have custody what can they do? Got my papers locked in the van, I knew I should've taken them next door, will call after I log out or hide them somewhere else. I was trying to keep the neighbors out of it, since once I go they'll still be neighbors to him.

Thankyou so much! DV counselor wants to meet with me to help get into a place. I have my Aunt, Mom, BF's, it's just so hard to ask for help! Will definitely need them with me in court, they helped me with so much the last time! Thanks for taking the time to make me this list. I'm really grateful for everyone here.

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 9:40am

You are soo in my prayers!

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 2:01pm

Hi Carrie,


As far as village PD goes, explain the situation and request a temporary RO to protect you and the kids, after what happened on Sunday (use the situation to your advantage).

Blueliner4
(aka The Pixie Princess)