Is it me, am I crazy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Is it me, am I crazy!
5
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 10:43pm
H just called again and asked WHY don't I want to talk to him, that we belong together, that he loves, that HE DOESN"T UNDERSTAND why I don't want anything to with him. He actually said OUR problems are because he's undocumented, so he doesn't make any money. HE makes very good money!!! I think he's trying to play me again, with the sad story he needs his papers, to finally make me happy buy me and the girls a house. I turned the phone off, my 15 year old, just says "what a dufus".
He says if only he had his papers WE would be fine. I am not going to help him get his residency. I'm looking for a divorce, I haven't told him I have filed with legal services, I don't think I should, what do you guys think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 11:15pm

OMG this is typical, TYPICAL abuser!!! Calling you and saying he loves you, belongs with you... blah blah blah... gag me with a spoon!!!!! I am serious. It is a crock of sh*t what he is doing. It is empty promises. He will treat you the way he treated you before.

"I think he's trying to play me again" YUP - HE IS

I don't think it is necessary to tell him that you filed. I think that it will piss him off even more.... Oh and you have the RO against him, so say you did tell him... that might come back at you. Because he would know you filed, when you aren't supposed to be talking to him... kwim?

Lauren

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 11:28pm

Lauren, you mean if I tell him about the divorce?? What about going to Wal-mart, can't I get in trouble for that???

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 12:00am

I say don't tell him about the divorce. Sorry if I confused you.. I confuse myself sometimes! Yes, I guess you did violate the RO.... because you aren't allowed to be near him right? I say stop talking to him, stop accepting his calls and try and delete his messages, don't listen to them. I know how difficult it can be, but its the best way to go. Next time he calls and talks to the girls (Is he allowed to do that) and he bribes them by bringing them somewhere or buying something for them.. you need to put a stop to it. Is he allowed to see the girls ?... wasn't he supposed to see them at someones office? It must be very difficult to even think about calling the police on him, but if he is violating the RO by coming over and talking to the girls, you need to put a stop to it. He keeps doing it because he knows that you won't do anything. He doesn't think you are strong enough and smart enough to call and report him. You need to prove him wrong.

Lauren

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 9:14am
If you delete the messages you won't have proof that he's violating the order. Tape record all messages-but don't talk to him. Keep a journmal of contact, take photos if he shows up .....you did not violate the order but it does not help you to go shopping with him. The order is his. My ex tried to get me in trouble because I took my car to a shop near her house and she had a 200 yard stay away order....you didn't do anything wrong. But collect evidence-not to threaten hiom but in case you need it. My ex turned into a stalker.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 8:25pm
Mom, look over your order.