need some support-feeling crazy
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| Mon, 12-11-2006 - 9:16pm |
I've posted before-feels like an emotionally destructive relationship-feel like she's cheating-messes with my mind {i'm insecure, imagining things etc....].I'm feeling so out of sorts. It's like I'm all upset and scared and then she talks in this calming voice like nothings wrong and I start to believe her!!!!!!! I feel I'm at a crossroads. I haven't returned any calls....I feel like changing my locks, stopping the credit card she has of mine and simply saying "enough" "this doesn't work for me..." "my trust and faith are gone".
Why am I sooo susceptible to the BS. I guess it's cause I want to be loved and feel important to someone-but it somehow not right inside. And it's like she "woos" me but doesn't really like me...says all the right things to keep me here but doesn't really even want me. Does this make sense?
I told someone it was like smoking pot-reality gets distorted. Feedback please.

I don't remember if I told you about the abuse cycle. That might be what you are going thru. It starts out as the honeymoon stage (gifts, i'm sorry, calming voice) it then builds up to the buil-up stage, followed by the explosion. This happens in all abusive relationships. The only way to end the cycle is to get out and leave. It is very very normal to believe abusers when they pull everything out of their hat in the honeymoon stage. They say everything that we want them to say. The only catch is that it is only empty promises they are saying. EMPTY! What they say it all lies. They will do it all over again.
If you feel like you need to end it, then you need to end it. Listen to your gut feeling. We seem to ignore that gut feeling at the worst possible times. I know that I did.
You aren't the only one that is suseptible to the BS. We all are with abusers. Their promises just sound so promising. I stayed with my abuser because I had so much hope for us to work out. I didn't want to just give up.. but I moved on eventually. It was the best decision I have ever made. It seems like we all just have so much hope for our abusers. We want them to be 'the one' that will be with us always. They are damaging, they are trouble, it will never get better with them, only worse with time.
Lauren