I should have kept my mouth shut

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
I should have kept my mouth shut
3
Fri, 12-22-2006 - 12:20am

I know that anything I say only fuels his anger and contributes to the volitility.

Paula

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Fri, 12-22-2006 - 9:13am

Boy can I understand! No, you're not turning into the abuser, sometimes I wonder about myself. Guess we're trained to take the blame. You were just being honest. My H sounds a lot like yours. Just about everything but hitting. I know how hard the holidays can be, I also am waiting for an answer about whether or not he'll be spending the holdays with us and family.

I'm really sorry for all that's going on. Maybe the holdays with family will offer some needed comfort and support. Try to look forward to the new job, it probably seems forever away! I had a similar conversation last night, about not having feeling for H. Keep posting the next few days and let us know if there are any problems. The lawyer told me yesterday to call the cops if he started harrassing me, that they would remove him. It is enough to get him out. If you have to call tell them you fear for your safety, like C posted. My lawyer said those are key words, make sure they know you are afraid for you and your son.

I really hope you're able to enjoy the holidays with DS. How old is he now?

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Fri, 12-22-2006 - 10:15am

Thanks Carrie.

Paula

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Fri, 12-22-2006 - 10:31am

About the holidays, I just want him there so the kids don't question why he's not. After Christmas I'm telling them, whether he'll be included or not is up to him. We think having them around for the holidays is right for the kids, but it's probably little more than tense and uncomfortable for them.

I really hope you and DS a wonderful holiday! Try to enjoy your trip.

Carrie