Am i doing something wrong?
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| Fri, 12-22-2006 - 1:05pm |
I am going to try too make this short. When i was younger i live with my mom and my older sister and yoounger brother. for some reason my mom and i didnt seem to get along very well. She used to beat me down verbally for a very long time, telling me i was fat and telling me my dad (her ex husband) used to beat her all the time. Anything mean she has said it atleast once. Then when i got older it go physical.....she would hit me to the point where i thought i would die. I would tell people and they would report it and do nothing but tell her so she could come home and give me more. The thing that gets me is that she was great to my siblings. she is still the same way till this day. she got arrested at my wedding has kicked me out when i was trying to get a divorce so i had to go back to him. I could go on and on...she is my mom so i always try to fix things...but when is it too much? So as to say it I have had a very hard childhood.
Now i am married to someone for about 3 years. he puts me down too.....was physiaclly abusive but that has seemed to stop when i filed for divorce and now am back. maybe he got the picture. He still calls me things like a slut and things like that. My daughter is very unbehaved. she trys to push your buttons to the very end. she is 3 soon. I have been having a A....and I have just recently ended it after 2 years. because he was playing head games with me..... I feel like things cant get any worse. are these things happening because of me? or can you really find these many bad people? any suggestions on how to move on from the hurt from my mom. And one been through this?

Edited 12/22/2006 1:17 pm ET by shyshortie
You're not the only one to have gone from one abusive relationship to the next! I was in a physically abusive relationship that I ended 10 years ago. Now I'm getting divorced from a mostly emotional one, although there was some physical until 3-4 years ago.
I'm really sorry about all of this that you're going through. It's terribly painful and confusing at times. I can't think of a single reason why anyone would deserve to be abused. I can't think of a single action that would cause it. It's not your behavior, it's your mother's and H's, your not responsible for it! You can't fix them. I can't believe how common this abuse is! I have 2 friends going through the same thing, a cousin, and I believe my Mom is headed down this road again.
I have a son that will be 6 on Christmas, with H. About a year ago, he climbed up to the kitchen counter, telling me what to get him. He acts entitled to things, just like his father. I can't tell you the time that boy spends in the naughty corner for the disrespectful ways he treats me. Anyway, that day was the day I said heck no, cause he sounded just like him! So, I'm sorry you're having problems with DD. She's at an age where you can take away TV shows, or use time outs. With my son, the time out chair didn't work but the corner does.
Keep posting, your story sounds a lot like ours.
Carrie
Hi,
I responded to another one of your posts.. but I will put in my 2 cents here as well.
I'm really sorry to hear about the way your mother has treated you in the past. I am sorry to hear that you are now in another abusive relationship.
I think the only way to move on and heal properly from your abusive mother and now abusive husband.. is to leave.. be single for a long time.. find yourself.. do things for yourself and only yourself.. be selfish.. go to counselling.. support groups, they are wonderful at support groups.
Have you thought about leaving your husband? You daughter is right smack in the middle of the abuse. She is difeinitlye being affected by the abuse.. she can feel and see the abuse happening.. even if you don't think she is being affected. She is. You need to get out for your daughter. If you don't leave, she will start to learn the way her dad treats you, she will see that as normal and there is a big possibility that she will be treated like that when she is older.
(((BIG HUGS)))
Lauren