I'm so scared!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
I'm so scared!
5
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:19pm

Hi ladies,
hope your all well and safe! I didn't let H for Christmas, though he came twice, but the girls didn't want to go anywhere with him they were playing with all their toys. He called and said he was taking me to court, that he has every right to see his kids, that he was going to call DSS on me, and tell them I take meds for depression go to therapy, that i am nuts!
Well, I called my DSS worker and told her what was going on, she said give him her # and not to worry, so I called him and he says I'm in the court, and hung up on me, then he calls back and I give the number, he started saying something like I will do anything it takes, and I hung up. I hate him so much!!!! My worker said that she will put in a referral for the visitation site, and that he can take it or leave it.
He left so many messages, that I am the one doing wrong by the girls, that I am the one hurting them, that I am the one who needs to take parenting classes because I suck as a mother, and that I am garbage. It's all me. He says he left me, that he was always there for me, and always helped me with my bills and rent, sooooooo I guess that's why my gas and electric are about to be shut off.
Will I ever be rid of him? Will I ever be happy, and at peace? I am soooo Sorry for go on like this,but I've been crying all morning and have no one to talk to here, thankyou for listening.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:52pm

Hi,

You are not in the wrong okay. I will tell you a million times. You are the wonderful parent.. you are not the abuser. So what if you take depression meds... he is the abusive one!! He is trying to put the blame on you, which ALL ABUSERS do!! He isn't taking the blame and he never will... You are doing great, and I am so happy that you told him he couldn't come in to see the girls. You are a very strong women, and you are doing great!

Hope you had a great Christmas!
(((HUGS)))
Lauren

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 2:20pm

Sorry to hear you are having a bad day, mine isn't so hot either. My EX is manipulative and controlling and is now claiming there is no money......at the same time just bought his parents a flat screen, is buying new stocks, has money to try to bribe me with trips, etc. etc.

I am sure you are a good mom. From what I have read in your posts you love your girls and love having fun with them. He is saying absolutely everything to get you to doubt yourself, make you think you are crazy, and mess you up in the head. You are a strong woman, you will get through this!!! Yes I think you will find peace and happiness - you found this board you must be on the right path!!!:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 2:23pm
And maybe you being depressed is because you have been in the situation with him......I know when I am around my ex I am so unhappy!!! Try not to doubt yourself!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 6:06pm

Lisa, Huge, enormous attagirls to you for not letting him in!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 2:34pm

Lots of hugs Lisa! Great job not letting him in on Christmas! I'm sorry he's putting you all through this, all the threats. I know how awful it feels. H filed for custody and the kids will have to see a law guardian. I can't possibly understand why someone would drag children through an already difficult experience. The guys on probation w/ an R/O. Who does he think he's kidding? Let him know you will be calling the cops the next time he violates it and when he shows up call! How's he going to seek custody from jail? Can you call the cops w/ the threatening message to play for them? That's harrassment and a violation!

Hang in there Lisa, I wish this was a much shorter process for everyone! Things will keep getting better.

Carrie