I am no good!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
I am no good!
3
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 6:04pm

Hi everyone,
went to court and got nowhere, h's PO thinks he's god gift to the F_____ world!!!! The judge didn't give me the RO, because SHE says he hasn't done anything!!!! Get this, when my name was called he came up with me. I could feel his breathing on the back of my neck that's how close he was to me, and the judge is asking me what's going on, he would have had a party beating me to death after court if I had said anything. The judge was against me, his PO everyone just all in my face. I felt like SH__. I have messages on the phone and the judge wanted to hear them I said fine, guess what it doesn't f____ pay to be honest I should have deleted all the ones where it's obvious to me that he's recording all his words, and let her hear all the rally nasty one, but noooooooooo I wanted to be honest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No games! Look what it got me, NOTHING!
The DV advocate was no help she was close friends with the PO.
I cried and talk to my DSS worker she can't believe this happened, her biggest question is why did I have to go in front of the judge with him next to me. She's so wants to help me, but I don't think that there's anything i can do, he has the court system thinking I am such a bad person, she's going to make lot's of calls tomorrow and she promised me I will get my order of protection and I mentioned to her that I think moving out of Boston would be a great idea! I'll come back to the board, my head hurts from crying. I have to tell you, this whole thing has me wondering am I the bad one, just letting my imagination get the best of me, maybe I am over-reacting cause thinks he's so great, maybe he is.

:( bye
Lisa

P.S.
He said it to in one of his messages, nobody is going to believe you, they all think your a big liar! I have that message too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 7:52pm

Lisa, please, right now, stop beating yourself up over this.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 8:23pm

I'm sorry Lisa, this is such garbage! I thought you had an order for him to stay away already? I'm glad that DSS is helping you and your worker knows your case and is on your side. Are you seeing a DV counselor? Please do if you're not! I'm going back again myself, they have legal resources as well. My past experience is that these women fight like heck to get what you deserve, and have even gone to court to support me. I'd have never been strong enough at that point. Maybe it's possible for you to have that support so please look into it. He will not blind these women, they'll see right through him!

This is not your fault! He really has hurt you, he's threatened you, and is harrassing you! He's already been in jail for physically hurting you and he hasn't changed but changed his way of abusing you. I understand questioning yourself, but we have to get through this knowing it's best in the end for the kids. And you, never, ever deserve to be watching for him and waiting for what nasty message or threat he'll throw at you.

Hang in there Lisa! Let us know how you're doing,

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 1:14am
I am so sorry you had such a hard day. Could you possibly go away for a few days, give yourself a little break from all this chaos? Could you possibly talk to another DV advocate??? I don't even know what a DSS advocate is but I hope she comes through with those phone calls tomorrow.