Don't know if I should wait to leave
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 12-28-2006 - 1:46pm |
I'm getting really anxious being here again, it doesn't help that he's been around more w/ the holidays. I know I'm entitled to a decent amount if I stay here and stick it out, but am considering saying screw it and call about a house I saw for rent, 4 bedrooms. I know I'll feel 10 times better being away from him. I want to be on my own now! I'm going to call when DD is finally asleep to set up an appt to look at it. I'd have to find help to leave as the lawyer told me to take everything I couldn't do w/o. Most of my furnitures are antiques that have been passed down through the family, china and crystal. He knows how important it all is, especially now that my Grandma is gone. The place isn't available until Feb 1st, and our 1st court date is before that.
Sorry for rambling, I just wish I could be away from him so badly!
carrie

Carrie - Do you think he might blow a pin in the next little while? If so - then I say just leave. Don't take the chance that he will lash out at you. If you think he is fairly stable (as much as can be expected with abusive jerks!) then maybe you could wait it out. If possible, do go away for a few days just to bide some time. I would like to see you get as much as you deserve financially - especially considering all that you have put up with but not if it means possible physical attact.
Then again - if this rental house is the one that you want, then I say - make a deal with the owner and over the next few weeks you can slowly start moving some items he might not miss - into your new home. That way you are more likely to get the stuff that you want. as for the antiques - can you say something like you are having them refinished, or appraised or something just to get them out of the house? I don't if it will be a probblem for you to get them after the fact, but if he is volitile enough he might damage them just to hurt you.
Bottom - line I think you should lock in this home if you think it is the one that you want.
(((((((Hugs)))))))
Rose
I'm so glad you mentioned it, the starting to move stuff to the other place if I take it! Cause you know what? I called (about the 3 bedroom, 4 was taken), and I ended up on the phone with the woman for 30 minutes. Without even discussing any of my story w/ her, she told me one about being abused herself and remarrying. She would definitely understand! I'm going to call hr back and explain a little of the situation and she if she might let me look at it before there done remodeling it. The rent is less than I thought.
Pysical abuse, I don't know w/ him. Probably not now that he's filed, he knows one call will get him arrested and he's pretty smart about things, he does not want to be removed from his precious home, he literally put all of his money into this house. I'm more worried about him saying crap to the kids, bringing them into this more. I'm afraid, but cause he's been all over the place. Tonight he stopped in at 8pm, took a shower, kissed the kids and left, I hope he doesn't come home. I think he'd hide or sell stuff if I left.
The money thing is really screwed up. We have no joint accts, he even locks up his change. In the beginning of the lawyer stuff he started keeping his wallet w/ him a lot more. My child support comes but there's no rhyme or reason to it and my income puts gas in the van. I'd be borrowing the money to get in. Also have a retainer fee to borrow. That I'll have to use my share of the tax return to pay back. I could care what this place looks like, but they're putting in new carpet and drywall now, windows and door too. I need out really bad, I can't take him anymore.
Carrie
Do it. I have no doubt in my mind that that woman told you her story for a reason. This sounds like divine intervention to me if ever there was any. Something similar to this happened to me once in my life where a stranger and I crossed paths and shared a story that was rather personal for strangers to share but both of us needed to have that conversation. I don't even remember her name (I sat beside her on a plane) but I will never forget her. Call this lady back and tell her your story. Assure her that H is loaded and the bills will be paid - that may be one concern she may have, and may not want to get tangled into. Just reassure her and I bet the place will be yours. If you really feel strongly about needing out then I totally believe this is your new home.
Rose