Is this weird?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Is this weird?
10
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 12:33pm

Hi everyone, hope your all and safe! is it weird to have this life that you so want in your mind and heart, but not living it? How can I get what I see for me and my girls? I want to move outside of Boston I think that is a great move for us, go to school nites and work during the day. That normal life is what I am so wanting,not this looking out the window,scared to walk out my door, where am i going to run into him. I want to buy a car, and I want to buy us a house.
Is that to weird to want? Right now I am a mom of 3 girls, welfare recipient, no child support, section 8 holder, and gas&electric bills of the roof! I Don't Want that anymore.

Lisa

P.S.
Carrie, I left you a message on my last post (Hugs, and my hats off to you)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 8:01pm

I don't think it is weird for what you are feeling at all Lisa! You have gone through a lot. I think it is a good idea to move out of town and pretty much start a new life. You won't have to worry about seeing him on the street or anything. If you want to move and start a new life, I say take baby steps. Take it slow.. if you really want something, put your mind to it and go get it!!

Lauren

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 8:12pm

Hey Lauren,
how are you???? How do I start? That is my biggest thing. I know that sounds stupid, but I honestly don't know how to start this process, that I so want.

Hugs,
Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 8:41pm

me again.....

How did I start? I took my half of the tax refund from last year and bought a small, cheap, reliable car. (He took his half and snorted it I think)

I started to email all sorts of people I knew about my plans and dream to 'come home'and believe it or not, got in touch with an old high school boyfriend...(not the guy I am seeing).......when he heard about my awful life and desire to get out of there....he sent me 1200 bucks to move.....with no strings attached except a hug when I got here......

There are angels out there on this Earth and you won't know when one of them will reach out to you and help you on your journey. As I have stated in my posts before....I truly believe my late father is guiding me all the way and is the reason I am here today.....he loved me and always wanted the best for me but I was too stubborn.....stupid?.....to ask him to help me anymore.....I never let my family know and now that I am back here near them, I am catching alot of you-know-what for that. In fact, this was the BEST Christmas I have had in years and years....I was with my two sisters and one of my brothers for the first time in over 30 years.......I am blessed....

Keep plugging away, don't give up your dream to find peace and happiness....I am not of any religious faith but extremely spiritual in nature....especially now.....and believe we all can ask for giuidance and it WILL come.........believe in yourself and you will succeed........

Laptop

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 9:01pm

Thanks, laptop

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 1:54am
Hi. You get what you want with micromovements or small steps and it seems like you are already doing that! You could always pick up one of SARK's books, she always talks about micromovements. A micromovent would be making a dream list of places you would like to live. Then another micromovement would be getting on the internet and reading about those places. I will be away from the boards for a few days - but will check in again when I get back to my new place in Florida. Hang in there!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 11:42am

Hi, thanks
Tell me about Sarks book, I am interested in getting it.

Thankyou again

Lisa (hugs)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 12:49pm

Yeah, you're weird.

Join the crowd! The whole country trying to live the American Dream. We're in good company. :) I'd worry about you if you DIDN'T want those things.

I agree with small steps. They are very do-able. List making is a HUGE first step, because you can't make a change if you don't have a clear goal. If you don't you kind of wander in limbo.
Here are some ideas for your list:

If you drink pop, smoke, chew gum, eat chips, whatever, once a day put the amount of money that would pay for ONE of those things in an account. ING has a savings account that makes great interest, plus, they give you a $25.00 incentive to open one!!! You can transfer that $1.00 a day online into your ING account and feel GREAT about it.

I strongly suggest, if your girls are old enough? Start them doing it, too.

There is this thing called the 10% Solution. Every penny you get, put 10% into savings. That's $.10 on a dollar and VERY do-able. Just an idea.

Now, Section 8. Put in for the paperwork to change your residence. List schools, daycare, employment, whatever you have to to get the move OKed.

Gas & Electric. Call the power company, tell them you're on Section 8 and Welfare and need help. They have programs. If you can't even make the program costs? Tell them and tell them why.

Employment. Are you working? I know your hours are limited, but do what you and keep your employment flexible. I paid off $70k of my Practice Husband's debts (to get rid of him) by waiting tables in a restaurant (not bar, because of the earlier hours) and you can do that for cash. Actually, 3 jobs, but this isn't about me. Even something part-time, one night a week? Put it or 10% of it into your savings account.

Education. Talk to the community college, GED, High School or University, whatever you're thinking about hardship scholarships and what you'd have to do to qualify. If I have any suggestion there, I suggest you go higher. If you're thinking GED? Fine, but plan to put in the application papers to a community college. If you're thinking community college? Write to a university to find out what you'd have to take to transfer to their 4-year program. IOW, plan UP.

Dearheart, I learned the hard way this year, after a fire, that people WANT to help. Anyway, the more you talk, the more real it is. People have ideas. People know people. You never know when a better job or home might pop up because they'll give YOU a reference to their friend. I couldn't have made it witout people coming out of the woodwork to give us clothes, dog crates, cat food, hugs, you name it. I didn't know some of these people even knew who I was.

Ro make your dreams come true, start talking about them. Visualize them. Decorate the rooms, drive yourself to work and school, pay for your girls' college.

OH! Start one of those state funded college funds for them NOW. Does anyone remember the name of that U-something that puts money in their accounts for each purchase made at participating merchants?

Car. Start talking to the help organizations about transportation. Start asking around about unused cars with friends. They sure don't have to be pretty, heat would be nice, but wheels are better! Suited for Change can help with work clothes, for example. DV shelters have all kinds of resources for things to make your and your girls' lives a little softer.

Don't be shy about telling people you've fled a violent situation. Many reasons, but people want to help when they know it's not a whim. Plus, it keeps it real to you and a driving force. Also, if your neighbors or building manager see him around, they'll know there might be trouble in River City. Particularly if you have a RO out on him. EVERYONE needs to know this, to the point of putting his photo up by the mailboxes stating, "If you see this man do not let him enter the building. and suggest they please call the police." Oh, and by the way if you have a car you're not using... Just kidding.

Most of all? Have faith. I know and live the fact (The FACT) that things always work out. We have been given the strength and drive to take care of ourselves. We can do anything we set our minds to as long as we have faith in ourselves.

Geeze. You're OUT. How hard was THAT!?! If you can do that, (and stay out) you can do anything, in my opinion. I hope these ideas help!

C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 1:52pm

THANKYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am looking into everything right now online, THANKYOU again.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 4:40pm

Sark has a number of books and a number of them mention micromovents. She talks a lot about how to fulfil creative dreams, her books are fun and inspirational and can be applied to all areas of life (not just the extrememtly creative ideas but everyday things as well).

You can go to the link below and then click on micromovements support sheets, and you will see detailed ideas. If you click around on this website you will also see more information about her and her books! Lots of luck and hugs and please post about some of your micromovements!!!:) Happy New Year!

http://www.planetsark.com/resources_support_sheets_micromovements.htm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 5:49pm

I was so alone and abused and down on my luck (no money, no job, nowhere to go) when I left my abuser on February 1, 1987.

Susan

"Success is building a foundation wit