Where is everyone?
Find a Conversation
Where is everyone?
| Sat, 12-30-2006 - 7:29pm |
Hi everyone,
just wanted to talk and see how everyone is doing tonite? Hope your all well and safe.
Lisa
| Sat, 12-30-2006 - 7:29pm |
Hi everyone,
just wanted to talk and see how everyone is doing tonite? Hope your all well and safe.
Lisa
Hi Lisa,
I'm around again!... I'm sorry to see you waiting for responses. I know that all too well.. and I hate it. When I first started posting, it wasn't good... I posted to myself to see if people would respond. Finally people did... I hope you are doing well.. I am doing good... and hope to be back on the board regularly!
Lauren
Hey Lauren,
I LOVE YOU GUYS, as I have said ivillage is GREAT!
Lisa
hi cubanmom........
My name is laptop on this board and I'm not a regular poster but I try to read every single day at least once.
The similarities between us are that I am in my late 40's. I have 4 kids....3 are out on their own now.....and I have been on public assistance all of my adult life. My abuser....I was with him for 25 yrs. He was the love of my life and sometimes I wished something would make him wake up and realize what he had done to me and the kids.....but nope....never happened....to this day he really thinks that his behavior was a result of other things.....drugs, alcohol, job stress, me, the noise of the kids..(we had twin boys early on in our marriage and we lived away from friends and family, so no time to ourselves).....there was always a reason for his behavior.
I too would love to have my own home, I have lived with someone else, renting a room from friends and ex-in-laws just to have a place to lay down at night. I still live with an ex-sister-in-law from my first marriage. When I was with my H, we spent so much time looking for a new place to live, there was no stability for our children. We even lived in the woods for 2 months......now I can't stand to go camping and I used to love it. But the point I'm trying to make is that since I have been responsible for my children's place to lay their head at night......it has always been there......it wasn't much but it was ALWAYS there. My grown boys would still come and sleep on my floor regardless of where I was living because it was where I was. Not because of whether I owned it or not. I slept in a 10 by 10 room on a twin bed with my youngest daughter who is now 13 for over 2 years with all our stuff in storage because it was all I could afford. And it was home....it wasn't much but it wasn't in jeapordy because I PAID FOR IT, not the H and it was the most reassuring thing for my children.
I now live 1500 miles away from my abuser, I lost my father in February of this year and the last conversation I had with him was the most important one we had ever had in my life...better than those father-daughter things when you get married... He told me to get my act together and finally do something for myself and quit wishing for a miracle. And to "go home".......here where I spent a good part of my growing up.......6 weeks after we said goodbye to my dad,I drove away from EVERYTHING I own and that rotten s.o.b. and came home to Oregon. It was the best decision I have ever made. It was the hardest thing to leave the job I had for 6 years.....God love those people....but the decision was the right one. And even though at first he made my life miserable by calling me and threatening me, I got that restraining order......he was foolish enough to leave nasty threatening voicemails on my roommate's answering machine. So we just made recordings and even burnt it on a CD for me just in case I started to feel weak.....hahahaha...keep documenting....you WILL get the protection you deserve.....
He now has a girlfriend living with him.....the same woman he cheated on me with.....(and he held a gun to her head before and threatened to kill her right in front of me and the kids).....she's a fool, too...I knew it wouldn't take long....and I have reconnected with a wonderful man that I knew 35 years ago. He is the product of an abusive home and has been SO good to me. He knows just how it is to grow up that way and all the lingering effects. He is rally awesome with my daughter....so much more attentive than her father ever was......and he is more gentle than any man I have ever been with.....
So just be strong...your kids will be alright...you will be too....I was almost killed several times and was brainwashed beyond belief. I can see clearly now and you will too. Days and nights start going by faster and I'm telling you that you will find a sense of peace and fulfillment like never before. It's hard at first but you can do this....and like my children, yours will thank you someday too...
Peace
Laptop
My hat is off to you, your a great woman. Thankyou so much for your words. Being on public assistant and 3 girls, no car, section 8, and I want to leave Boston. I told a friend of mine and she says "I'm an idiot" no job, no nothing, How? She said get a job and you'll never see him, you'll be to busy. I know that leaving here and starting over would be great for me and the girls. I am hoping that on tuesday the DV advocate and DSS can help me with this. I wish I had your strength.
Lisa