Strange phone call
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| Mon, 01-01-2007 - 10:00pm |
Got a phone call tonight from the witnesses at our wedding ceremony. We were married in their back yard actually, by their pond under their white wooden archway. I thought I could handle the phone call, just offering H's new cell # he called me w/ for the 1st time as I was filing for a R/O, and again in family court.
Now, the freind that DD stayed w/ last night, her father is cousins w/ one of the witnesses, so I assumed they heard the news from her and passed it along, hence the phone call. No, DD did not discuss it, I'm not surprised. She knew she could discuss it, I'm not a secretive person. I've not heard a word from this friend since September when she stopped in quickly to catch up. Nothing over Christmas, as a witness not even a call for our anniversary. All of a sudden this call! That would be fine, if she weren't asking how H was, I said he wasn't here. She asked how we were doing, alright. I told her I could give her the cell #. A few more questions and I decided, why am I keeping my mouth shut? I told her we were splitting up, she said that 6 kids needed a father, how bad she felt for the kids, was there anything that her and her H could do. I told her this has been coming to an end for awhile, it was for the best. She asked if it was a cooling off period, I said no, it's over.
Before seeing her in Sept, it had been almost 2 years. But tonight, the night before we go to court together, she calls. Crazy because, I was ready to walk out the door w/ nothing when she last stopped in, had mentioned to H that her coming here by chance made me rethink things, like it was a sign.
So, am I freaking paranoid, or would you wonder the same? C, where the heck are you? You said someday if we asked you'd tell us how you came to be paranoid. Fill me in! I am one of those people that will follow signs, if they feel right. The phone call feels like a set up. H can have no 3rd party contact, so of course she couldn't say she talked to him. Am I looney, or seeing this for what it really is?
Carrie

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Hi Carrie,
You're not looney-it's a setup....she's advocating for your H and it's crazy making because it's behind your back/dishonest....you're seeing it for what it is. Trust your gut!!!! Good luck tomorrow,
Beth
How freaky though! I know, I've read the darn book, and I trust my gut, but why don't I really trust myself sometimes? There's a class coming up in the school district, meditation and intuition. One of my friends took Meditation and relaxation, found herself in part and had some freaky experiences with spirituality, she was questioning herself as being forgiven in Gods eyes. We have our own beliefs in that. But this intuition thing really struck me and I think I'll go and see if she'd like to. She's in the same situation w/ her H, but thinks it's up to her to work it out. I got her to buy the book! She bought us matching shirts that say "I'm the perfect imperfection".
It's crazy, how this touches so many of us. So, worth rubies, did you get the ring? I'm worth sapphires or a mother's ring too. Even though I have 6 kids it's only 4 stones, I gave my last mother's ring to oldest DD, cause it was from the 1st X. I just kept having babies in December. I remember now! Gift from God, his name is Nathan. Where did you grow up that you went to church w/ your friend?
I'd say it strange, but my pre-schooler had a Christmas tree in her room but not a mennorah (sp). Santa came to the classroom. My cousin and I had an arguement about celebrating holidays in school. She was irritated that her twins couldn't have a Christmas party, yet she doesn't take her kids to church! My opinon is, you teach in a public school, if you choose to celebrate holidays you teach how different religions celebrate them and why and how, and most importantly, what they mean. Acceptance is what should be taught, acceptance of everyone.
I had a gay Catholic Uncle shun me for having kids out of wedlock? Get where I'm coming from? That's just silly!
Talk to you soon Beth,
Carrie
OMG where's you get the shirts...I'm the perfect imperfection? That's great-in Japanese they call it Wabesabe ?sp...the beauty of inperfection. The meditation/intuition class sounds good...I believe . I also believe dreams send messages.
Actually I'm a sapphire girl too ...the rubies is about my screen name...".a woman of worth? her price is far above rubies"....it could sound sexist but I take it to mean that a good person, man or woman is a real find, worthy of care and love hence, a ruby ring. I'll do a mother's ring at some point when I have $ and time to really figure out what I want.
I grew up in Connecticut and went to an Italian Catholic chursh with my best friend. A long time ago the mass was in latin and I thought it was beautiful. It's funny about your gay uncle upset with you having kids unmarried. Isn't it so strange...how people are.
I had an iffy night-I ran into my ex in the park and she immediately started in on the "i haven't had a affair..." We kind of talked, I cried, I yelled too. She hugged me but it didn't really feel all that great-plus I had said don't touch me, but then I was so much crying and in pain I didn't stop it. At first when I got home I was freaked out...all my hard work and here I am in the park crying hysterically and being hugged by her? But I called a friend and I figure it's all part of the process....it struck me that I shared with her I'm driving my son's car so it doesn't get screwed up from sitting around, I thought she'd laugh but I could see a look of real concern in her eyes and later it dawned on me that if she's "out" with new person-she doesn't know which car to "look" for and that if she checks out my house, just because my car is here it doesn't mean I'm home!!!!! Keep me in your prayers...that in my pain I don't do foolish things.
Nathan is a ggod name-gift from God-how wonderful to think of yourself as a gift from God!!!
I'm going to sleep, finally got dishes done-
take care, good luck in court....
Beth
I knew crap rises.
Honey, the next time this ignorant psychofant of your abuser slithers into your life? Tell her to hit the road and quit digging information from you that she's not ready to her nor believe.
She is NOT your friend. She's a sick enabler, probably a very anxious to please the man type woman.
Trust your ......
C.
Thanks C & Beth!
Something in my gut told me beware! Turned out to be true! I'm so grateful to be trusting of myself again. Thanks for the huge part your encouraging responses had to do w/ that!
The story goes on as now rumors have started, but that's one I refuse to acknowledge as I'm on the path of looking ahead, not sideways or behind!
Carrie
Hugs,
Beth
I'm so loving those moments when the kids sem distracted. Last night was a hard one after he came here w/ an officer to get more belongings. Hit 2 of them hard, 2 others didn't even move to say hello, and the 2 I have w/ him said good bye just as easily as they said hello. The 2 that didn't move I believe never got close, the 2 that took it hard were the 2 I had when I met him that did get close, and our youngest know they'll never feel rejection from him.
This morning, I let the boys sleep in. My oldest was up crying a bit, we talked, but I know the feeling of exhaustion. I've notified the boys school counselors, one put in a referral for a family counseling session right at one of the schools, waiting to hear back. There's also a support group for changing families, w/ other kids in whatever situation they're in. I'm told it's surprising how supportive all the kids are towards each other. It's so hard on my oldest son, he's 9 and known H for 8 of those years, but not included in visitation. I let him sleep in my bed tonight and will take the couch. One minute as I was brushing the younger ones while he was too he says "The house is running better now w/o (H) around" Than after he watches the youngest play w/ toys he bought them on their visit, he says he never wants to see him again, but why can't I see him?
I feel self absorbed, cause I'm trying to find and heal me. So I remember this morning taking them to school, when they were laughing so hard at each other that I couldn't help but laugh too! Before H and I being apart, those times were far and few between. Tonight before my aunt came to pick up the 2 youngest, we sat on the couch and read DS's new library book, while he was here I'd be worried that he's be complaining about what and when I'd be doing for dinner. DS said "pull my finger" and I almost wish I hadn't! But he laughed so hard it was contagious.
Sorry it's taken so long to get this out. But, the family I was afraid of losing, I have again! I have my kids back! I have laughing and joking, they don't question my discipline but respect it! It was great, my girls kept calling me on the cell just cause we can talk for free. My 16yr old called 5 times in a row just to mess w/ me, but I loved it and did it back.
Sent the 1st check to my lawyer, and was tempted to put freedom in the memo. In the end that's what I want, my freedom, my children, and to teach them a better way.
Carrie
Hi Carrie-you and kids sound great... I can feel it through the internet :) . It's good your older son can cry and you're getting him into counseling....it's healthy but it's not easy...
I can hear too the joy about the calls with your daughter and just the fun that you're having....of course you're healing too and need time/space for that-but it seems like you're doing super...and it sounds balanced.
The tension with the abuser -when my son was here it was more relaxed..she was very competitive and would get into conversations with my sons and leave ne out-I'd always be trying to "get in" and it was awful-of course, in typical abuser style, other times it was comfortable-i just never knew....
Take good care,
Beth
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