Had court today
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| Tue, 01-02-2007 - 7:03pm |
The stay away order and temp custody are still in effect, I'm still in the house w/ the kids. The only change that was made was allowing H visits w/ the kids, he has to contact my Aunt who okays it w/ me, and he picks them up and drops them off at her house.
He had his lawyer, I had an advocate. Emailed my lawyer last night, but missed the call that he would attend as my phone was shut off in court. Went back to lawyer w/ papers for divorce. The lawyer is handling the family offense too, he hasn't discussed money, I assume he's billing me. The kids have a law guardian, he needs to see the 2 that were awake in the room when it happened. Set up that appt too. DV counselors are trying to get me down to DSS to apply for help, but it doesn't make any sense to me. I have med/dental that he can't cancel until the divorce is final. I'd have to give DSS my child support to get financial assistance, and I can't get food stamps because my vehicle is an 02 and worth too much money. None of the bills here are in my name. If he shuts the phone off, I have my cell and so do the schools. If he shuts the cable off no big deal. He'd be stupid to shut the gas and elec off, his pipes could freaze and burst. I could have any of those put in my name but would only bother w/ gas and electric. Speaking of which, there's bills here for him.
I have to burn all the pics from the computer to disks, should be fun since I'm computer illiterate. I'd like to keep the newer computer since I'll qualify for FA and want to finish my degree online. I'm sorry, I'm just rambling.
In court his lawyer was trying to get him back in the house for visitation and maintaining it. What? There's nothing to maintain. It's too cold for the grass to grow, not any snow. It's killing him that I'm here w/ all of HIS things, he still doesn't realize or accept that our property is ours, it's his. Even the law guardian wanted him in the home w/ visits for the kids, mentioned that to my lawyer and he said he'd put a call in. When the judge asked him for an address H choked up a bit claiming to be homeless. I wanted to be sick! He's homeless and so sad, he didn't get choked up over not seeing his kids! Anyway, I started to cry when the judge turned his head to me about the stay away, and said I certainly did not mind visitation, but would he please not let him be around me? Get this! We were supposed to wait upstairs for our papers, he left! I'll get back on later!

This is great !! It's great that he has to contact your aunt... you never have to talk to him! yippee!
"he still doesn't realize or accept that our property is ours, it's his."
I think I get this... He doesn't understand that your property is yours.. not his? If this is right, then I totally get it! Anything that is his, is his.. but anything that is yours is his. Nothing is ever yours!
Lauren
Had to get off line to call cops and find out if he was served, they said call back. Didn't bother as my lawyer said it was still in effect, H was told at court.
Also, got a call from my aunt, H had the kids for an hour and a half tonight. When she called she said he wondered about picking the kids up in the driveway, I told her he couldn't come on the property while I had the order. He picked them up at her house and dropped them off. Put the agreement to visit in writng like I'm supposed to. I'm not giving an inch on this order, been there 10 years ago. If I give him an inch, he'll keep weasling his way on in. When my aunt brought the kids back, DS told me H was coming home tomorrow, I let it go. I tried to talk w/ him w/o being intrusive, cause I want him to know his father loves him and I want DS to love him back. He's not a talker so I just told him I was sorry that his father and I were being stupid, we both love him and want to take care of him. He does know that we'll not be together anymore. DD didn't want to go, she cried a little and I had to dress that independant little girl. Told her Papa missed her and reassured her she'd be coming home to sleep, I'd tuck her in. My cousin said DD was upset that she was going w/ him and not to aunt's. H already violated the 3rd party contact, as he had my aunt tell me that DS was very angry. Ds told me H cried in the car. Suck it up for an hour and a half! Everyone in this house has dealt w/ his painful words and actions for almost 8 years, I'm sorry my sympathy for him is gone, but he's been the only one who hasn't suffered or gone w/o! I wonder if DS was even upset, aunt said H told her he asked him when he was coming home. I don't even believe it.
I took the order to the schools as H is not to go on school campus. I'll have to make a copy for my aunt if she's to be involved to avoid him putting her on the spot. She's a smart woman. Apparently he asked about having visits through his sister who lives 5 minutes away, told her she was listed in the order, he's have to go to court for any changes and explained we go back next week.
House is clean,lunches are made, have to get up and do day care tomorrow. I really need the money! Sweet dreams for you all!
carrie
Well, you know how he's going to use the kids to get to you, OR to make you the evil one. Keep talking to them, even about his tactics. Remind then that his type of screaming/behavior and violence is what got him in trouble and lost him the right to be there.
Have you started your Craig's List sales? How 'bout your local thrift store? Pawn shop?
What's your is mine and what's mine is mine, given possession is 9/10th of the law....
Did you notify your neighbors that there's a RO out on him? They don't have to get involved, but let them know anonymous calls to that AWARE DV officer are very welcome and could very well save your life.
Hang tight. Don't let the details slip through the cracks and trust him with NOTHING.
C.
You're doing it Carrie! He is going to "play" for sympathy and try and confuse kids-get to you through them...what a jerk...hold your ground .
Thoughts and prayers and good wishes to you!!!!! Good luck with day care....btw-I'm impressed with how organized you are!! :) 6 kids, day care job...WOW..you can do anything!
Beth
Oh you're crafty! I've been sugar coating things a bit. I gradually begin to discuss things in detail. Tonight DD and I went to local store and I caught his car a plate #. Drove around to the other side of the parking lot and waited. I shut the van off knowing he had driven away, she said "Wait!" So she was afraid. Than I'm no sooner in the van from being in the store, there's a voicemail sound on my cell phone, check voicemail, local cop, H has one chance to return to the home for personal belongings.
Cop shows up w/ him cause I returned the call, same guy that let him stay!!! Alright so I got the guys name now. I WILL send this on to the lawyer! Cop sits in the kitchen, while H is in bedroom loading God knows what into black garbage bags and luggage! He probably walked out of here w/ all of our burned pictures on disk, birth cert, ss cards, marital documents and whatever. Now he's got no excuse to hand over the last 3 years worth of accts as requested my my lawyer.
My neighbors know, have helped w/ the kids. She tells me all the time that they're always there, let them know if I need anything. Thank God for them! Where else would I go when he unhooked the van battery, I couldn't drive!
Does 9/10ths apply? I have a court order to not close any accts, transfer or sell any property in question. If I could I'd sell my ring for money for the lawyer.
Carrie