just checking in...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
just checking in...
5
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 9:46pm
hi all,

just thought i'd wish everyone a peaceful holiday season and to let everyone know that it's been well over 2 months of NC. best part is that i have to look at the calender if i want to know how long NC is.

hang in there, everyone. it really does get better. don't believe me? you can read my story by doing a search on "sambagita" --- it was an awful ride. and i didn't get better until i literally hit rock bottom & couldn't bear my own reflection in the mirror.

and for all the friends that i met here while i was on this board, i just want to reiterate: I COULD NOT HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU ALL. you guys rock. nutella, lifeofjoy, riverguy, shescomeundone, cali, snap, blue, issues, gb2, cmbm, katja, wasnotthinking, and countless others, i owe you my sanity.

NC really is the way to go. XMM has now sent 3 emails to an acct that i can't access (my friend holds the passwd) that i haven't responded to. sure, there have been moments when i want to email but the temptation passes. and dealing w/ temptation is a whole heck of a lot bettter than dealing w/ feeling like crap after i email!

my prayers to everyone during what can be a very lonely time of year.


love,

sambagita

p.s. for those of you wondering, i did pass the CA bar. it was a 49.4% passage rate - lowest in the country! i'm so relieved. so thanks to those that offered support!

p.p.s. i want to read up on all these posts b/c i see lots of new names, but i can't. argh. i just got back from a holiday in asia w/ my boyfriend and today's my first day back at work. still here, in fact. so anyhow, for those of you new here, hang in there!!! keep posting. you will find strength here. and cali & shescomeundone, i skimmed/looked for recent posts by you two --- i am so proud of your guys' success!!! keep it up, ladies. i miss you guys!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 10:11pm
samba..........excellent news all around.

take good care.

cmbm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 10:19pm
Sambagita! Good to hear from you - and I'm very happy for you for passing the CA bar. Sounds like you are cruising along very well - give yourself a pat on the back! I'm hanging in there.... there are good days and there are bad days, but more good than bad - that's progress isn't it? Take care of yourself. You're still an inspiration to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 11:38pm
Hey thanks for coming back and checking in. We all need positive updates from those who have succceded. Glad you are doing well. Check in when you can. We still love you here.

Cali~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 11:43pm
Hi Sambagita!! I've been on and off the boards but have been so busy haven't had time to post. Have been sending positive vibes to everyone on the board, though. I think of you often with your wisdom and your humanity. I worried about how you'd do on your bar, considering it may have been difficult to give studying your full concentration with everything that's been on your mind. Way to go!!!!! You rock!! As with the N/C this is as successful an achievement. I too have been changing my clingy ways and have really managed to place my prior tryst in a little corner of my mind. I suspect it will always be there, but I am able to go about my life pretty close to normal, rather than have the thoughts of an uncertain possibility control me.

It's a funny sort of serenity that all of a sudden seems to creep up on you. You no longer have the feeling that each breath carries with it a thought of your beloved. You are able to drift off to sleep without having to fantasize about an unlikely future. You begin to see yourself as someone who will likely have another relationship again, but will choose to have one with a person who can devote themselves to you and who is not already attached to another. You start seeing the humanity in the person you thought you loved, not the exaggerated soulmate you made him out to be. You forgive yourself for your own humanity. You become your own soft place to fall.

Take good care Sambagita- you also have helped me immensely with your thoughts and gentle shaking.

To you and all of you on the board, and for that matter to myself, and to all those who have seen us hurt- I wish us peace of mind, heart and soul.

Snap

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2003
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 10:36am
Sam,

Glad to hear from you... I was wondering. Sometimes when someone drops off the board it's a good thing...means your moving on.. I know you are! Congratulations on your personal and professional success! I KNOW good things happen to good people.

KATJA