help...I'm confused again
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| Thu, 12-11-2003 - 7:40pm |
I talked to XMM today and asked him if he will ever give me the opportunity to say goodbye and explain things in person. His response was 'I don't know'...I'm ok with that but would obviously prefer a yes or no. Before you wonder why I would prefer to do this in person instead of over the phone is because I need to know how I really feel about him. The phone in my opinion hides a lot and allows myself to mask and measure my words. I've always been a person that can assess my feelings only in person. And yes I am so confused. One minute I hate this XMM, the next I think I may have some really strong feelings for him and this is why saying goodbye in person is so important to me.
Anyways, what confused me was his insistence that I have feelings for him....why does it matter? I've asked him this but he always manages to change the subject. I figure at this point, regardless of how I feel is none of his business. Right?!
Any opinions are wanted. Thanks

Cali~
Edited 10/1/2004 6:35 pm ET ET by sally289
In my opinion, the face-to-face contact only serves to stroke the ego. I too, feel the need for a final goodbye, closure if you will. I know it won't happen. It is none of his business how you are feeling, he has made that clear. You have to take care of YOU. Try to push his life out of your mind. You can make yourself crazy thinking and dwelling on it.
Please don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that you are tearing up inside. We have very strong feelings for these men and they are real feelings. Time does heal all wounds. Sometimes the wounds don't go away, but they scar over and when we look back someday, we will see and feel those scars and know that we have done the right thing.
I really look forward to that day and I know that I will be able to look at myself and be proud, once again.
Please don't see him....
it sounds to me like you want and need some type of validation that you mattered to him....which is okay. That is normal. Confusion in matters of the heart are normal also.....HOWEVER, you may see him in person and talk and never get the answers or the comfort that you need right now.....maybe it does'nt make sense and it never will.....that is a possibility you know?
For years i looked to XOM to help it all make sense, for him to explain things to me....why did we get into this relationship, why did it hurt so much..what should we do? I was looking to a jackass for answers...like Dorothy from Wizard of Oz, I always had the ability to go home,,,I just had to click those heels...yanno? Hey, maybe thats why I have such a shoe fetish......
Jazzdiva