Advice I can Carry

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Advice I can Carry
4
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 5:19pm


If any of you have read my posts, you know that i am going nuts here, and although I would love for MM to come to a decision, (he does not know what he wants), I need to somehow move on.

Although he has told me he needs to figure this all out himself, and asks that I please not badger him, I need to know something.

My question, should I risk pushing him away, and ask him how he feels about me now. Or somehow figure out a way to move on and try and forget.

I know that his W is bugging him about me, and he refuses to discuss it, and he has told her he is not there 100%, and she questions that, and the fact that he will not put his ring back on. And this is bothering him.


Should I risk it, or try and be his friend, and be there if he wants to talk, and let him come to this decision himself.

Thanks so much, Again, I dont know what I would do without all of you.

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 8:48pm
yes Pax, i agree that you need to move on...and you havent been really successful at it yet because frankly you dont want to. You are forcing yourself to, and girl i know how hard that can be.

but dont you see...you aren't PUSHING him away! He said he needed time to make a decision. He is with her trying to see if he can work it out. Thats not pushing, he's GONE, he's THERE , with HER! You didn't push squat, he voluntarily left. So get up, dust your a$$ off and step aside so he can do what he needs to do. Be fair to him, and to yourself. He may decide to come back, but you have no way of gauging how long it will take him to make a decision. You want to put your life on hold while you wait? He is unfair if he is asking you to do this.

Only you know what you need to do....but it looks to me like you have two choices...pursue him even though he said he needed time (and look like a Glenn Close) OR stop contacting him and see if he comes back to you...while you forge ahead with your own life. You may find someone new or decide you don't want him anymore...and if that is the case then it is HIS loss....

JMHO

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 8:56pm
she

you are right. as of this moment, i am going to try as hard as i can to move on. i cant keep doing this to myself. i have enough with my dauthers not speaking to me becuase of the separation.

it is going to be hard, i see it coming. i will try and keep it business at work. no i will keep it business. i dont want to look pathetic. i want him with me, becuase he wants to be. and your right, who knows how long he will take deciding, hell, maybe he isnt even trying to decide. i think he is trying to see if he can get the love back he had, and if it doesnt work. he will stay anyway, because of the kids, and guilt, or whatever.

but i cant worry about that. This is going to be hard. Please everyone hang in there with me. I think I can do this, with help

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 9:01pm
I am going to pray for you every day....you can do this pax.

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 9:03pm
Pax, dittos to what shes said... you can do this. We are here for you.

Anna