IT HAPPENED!!

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
IT HAPPENED!!
22
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 8:41pm
Well the day that I suspected would happen did a few days ago. I was in the hospital for all of Tuesday due to abdominal pain which felt worse then labor. Next day I was home recovering, still a little hung over from the morpheine they gave me. XOM messaged me asking if he could call later on that evening. At first I was going to ignore it. My heart was racing and I felt dizzy. I asked 'what for' and he said just to talk ...and then I did what i never did before....i typed in "NO"....that was it...a two letter word..but it spoke volumes and it even shocked me. He writes back "please" and i continue to ignore him. He said something like he just wanted to talk, and that he didn't blame me for not wanting to talk to him but when i was good and ready he would like to give me a chance to vent my frustration.....blah blah blah, he'd leave me alone if that is what I wanted. I just ignored. Then he said that he is up late if i change my mind. After that he shut up.

I can say alot of things about this whole incident, but the dominating emotion that I am feeling right now is shock and anger at his Chutzpah...The fact that he would even THINK that I would speak to him after all that he has done proves that he is mentally incompetent....He made it sound like he was doing me a favor. For the longest time I really wanted an opportunity to tear into him and release my frustration..but now he's not worth my energy. He is dirt......and I have proved to myself that I can continue on with NC. I guess things didn't work out with his other married woman so he's sniffing around here like a dog...well get lost Fido.

I feel empowered. I am sad, but I feel empowered. thank you ladies and germs on this board for being so wonderful.

Jazzdiva

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 8:49pm
she

i applaud you. God how I wish I could get to the point you are at. I almost wish my xmm would do something hateful or something to make it easier.

Keep it up, I hope someday I can return to the happy person I was.

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 8:59pm
thanks pax..i don't know how happy i was before but i definitely was better off not knowing XOM. He broke my heart, he crossed a line that never should have been crossed, and he lied for a very long time. I will never have forgiveness in my heart for him for that reason. He presented himself as someone that he really is not, someone he is not capable of being. Before I found all this out NC was almost impossible, because I still believed he was my one true love....my destiny. Now I thank God for the wisdom that I have.

Bottom line is this: whether you end things bitterly or you are still in love with your XMM/XOM you are in an affair. Two people in an affair cannot live without secrecy until they make changes. NC helps us move on, no matter what the circumstances. You may think it is easier for me because of what XOM did to me...maybe..but I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone....except maybe him.

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 12-13-2003 - 9:33pm

Congratulations on your resolve....and, btw, "germs"?.........keep up the good work.


cl-nre

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sun, 12-14-2003 - 6:52am
Well you already know how I feel about you! You have come so far and are continuing to do so well. I too am feeling sad but am keeping up NC. Girl I finished day 5 and since it is almost 4am now starting day 6. Never thought I would quit reading her boards but have for 6 days now. You have given me strength and you have found strenght within yourself.

Keep it up.

Love ya

Cali~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2003
Sun, 12-14-2003 - 1:10pm
Hey girl,

I'm more concerned about your abdominal pains... I hope your feeling better... Sometimes I think they have to hospitalize us moms just so we take a break and get some sleep! I hope your feeling better. One month after my A ended I was also hospitalized with mysterious abdominal pains. OUCH... that sucked..I've stayed out of the hospital since then, I still wonder what that was about.

But, way to go, being strong and all... I think I would have just fallen all over myself to get some comfort from XMM (at the time.) But, I know your past that now. You are so strong.

Don't let it eat you up. Whatever was causing the pain I hope your getting rid of it... I have a feeling it had something to do with stress.

I sense you really do know where you are going. You are making good decisions that will bring you toward an empowering life.

And finally, I just think your very sweet and funny and I'm on your side.

I heard your song the other day when I was eating a bagel.. "She's come undone... it made me smile and think about you of course.

KATJA

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sun, 12-14-2003 - 2:21pm
You SHOULD feel empowered. Good for you!

~Love

Love
Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 12-14-2003 - 2:52pm
kat,,,

thanks for your concern and your encouragement...

the pains were most likely an ovarian cyst that had ruptured....because my pain was high up on my abdomen they thought it was gall bladder...i am doing alot better and have been down this road before....i had surgery due to ovarian cyst years ago, it acts up when i am stressed or the month AFTER stress...duh...five weeks ago the crap hit the fan with XOM......I'm not spending too much time blaming him for my physical ailments...I just am trying to take care of myself and now take care of my little boy who has a really bad cold with fever....XOM must have called me last night and hung up, so now i'm pissed over not getting sleep too! LOL! He's such a jackass. He's probably up drunk trying to figure out who to call..........funny, he wasn't calling me when he had another married woman in his bed.

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2003
Sun, 12-14-2003 - 5:38pm
I hope your boy gets better... Nothing worse then that.. People don't realize how stressful that can be. There has been a lot of illness around my place as well. In fact, I think I'll go on a disinfecting rampage tonight.

It's funny how our bodies react to mental stress though. When I was going through the rough part of the withdrawl, the only thing that held me together was listening to Enya CD's over and over again and doing some deep yoga breathing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Sun, 12-14-2003 - 11:39pm
IF you really want him to get lost and IF you really want to feel "empowered", then block him from e-mailing and IMing. That way you won't have to read what he is saying at all and you won't NEED to think about and report every word he says. Only then wil you be able to put it behind you and move on.
Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 12-15-2003 - 12:04am
thanks for your advice, but I do have him on block ..this was a text message on my phone, and I am NOT changing my phone number. I don't run away from stalkers, I say BRING IT ON! I am strong enough to say NO, I proved that already.

Jazzdiva

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