Very Hard to Cope
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Very Hard to Cope
| Sun, 12-14-2003 - 10:31am |
last night I decided that I would try very hard to move on and push him out of my mind. I cant wait around waiting for him to realize what his feelings for me and his wife are. Especially when I know what the outcome will probably be.
Today is hard. I am trying not to think of him. Trying very hard. But each time I try, I get this sinking feeling in my stomach and heart, and I think of him.
When will this end. I try to find something funny on tv, try thinking of something different. Nothing seems to be working.
I love him so much, and I dont know how to push the feelings aside. I want to be happy again.

I truly believe that UNTIL the love is COMPLETELY taken away from them, then they have NO reason to even think about leaving. If we leave them alone...then one of two things will happen. Either WE move on or THEY leave to be with us. It's the time period between that is pure hell. But at the end SOMETHING will be different.
MEN NEVER LEAVE! It's good that you awknowledge this.
Especially when I know what the outcome will probably be.
I can't believe I even gave my XMM. A time, when he thought that he had a choice. Me or his wife. How could I let him have that kind of control over my destiny. Shouldn't I decide if I wanted to be with him just as much as he had a say in weather or not we could be a couple. Anyhow. I think I only did because I was pregnant. Otherwise.
I would never want a man to leave his wife for me... what would you be getting? A man that has problems, I can almost assure you.
Especially, if they have kids... drama drama... drama... what happens when those little kids grow up and the lights come on and you become... the evil lady that broke our family apart... trust me it will happen...no matter how great of a stepmom you are.
OK I kind of went off on a tangent.
So back to what else you were saying... I know PAX your going through a very hard time right now... with time it'll get less and less...
You've made a decision to put yourself first so stick to it! It'll be worth the payoff in the end!
Best wishes,
Katja
kids grew to love their stepmom, even though the stepmom was at one time the mistress...they don't care about that at this point. They all went to therapy and worked through whatever anger and stuff they had to work thru.
A very good friend of mine was the mistress. She was in her twenties and involved with a married man a good 15-20 years older then her....he had four children, the youngest was three. He left his wife for my friend, and they got married. She became stepmom to these four kids, and really has a decent relationship with them now. The youngest kid is now 20!! She can even be in the same social function with the ex wife and they are civil to eachother. I commented once on how wonderful it all worked out to be, and she told me that for YEARS she watched her husband suffer with the pain of a divorce, the legacy of an affair they had to live with, and how the kids suffered alot. It all looks honky dory now, but it wasn't a picnic. Just something to think about.
Jazzdiva