Oh...If I make it Thru This

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Oh...If I make it Thru This
3
Tue, 12-16-2003 - 11:06am
Trying my hardest to move on. Working together makes it hard. Came in here monday, trying to act like we are co-workers.

Today he tells me this. He thinks about me constantly and misses me. He is looking forward to holidays only becuase of his children. He is so torn, between his loyalty to her, the amount of time together, and his feelings for me. He does not know what to do. She badgers him about us, and he will not discuss it. He says he is feeling very guilty, but he just does not know what to do. Things at home have not changed. He says he puts on a face. He needs time to decide what to do, he knows how hard this is, but please be patient.

Why is he telling me these things. What the heck am I supposed to think. I should just wait until he comes up with a decision, then what, in 3 months, he tells me, Oh, the guilt is to much, I am staying.

I am trying to move along, I still Love Him, but I have to get going. I have lost 11 lbs in the last 2 1/2 weeks.

Just Venting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Tue, 12-16-2003 - 11:23am
Pax, I'm sorry but he just wants you to be his buddy and a sounding board for all his problems. Please tell him to find someone else or to say these things to his wife because you're done listening to him until the day he shows you divorce papers!

What he's doing to you is not fair and definitely not easy to live through on a daily basis! I'm sorry he's doing this to you. He sounds like a man that can't decide what he wants out of life and he's taking the easy route without ANY consideration of your feelings and emotions!

Sorry, I think he's a jerk because he made his own bed and even though it's full of thorns, it's by HIS choice!

Next time he approaches you......WALK AWAY!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Tue, 12-16-2003 - 12:19pm
Hey Pax,

I know how you feel. Having a tough moment right now. Spent all morning working side by side MM and it can be hard. We have a good working R and all that, and we're trying to be friends like we were, but it is hard not to want, not to hope, for more. Especially when he's right there in front of you and letting you know he misses you too. I am leaving the office this afternoon to do some much needed Xmas shopping, and hopefully distract my brain from the sad feelings. Because once I start dwelling on it, I just feel worse and miss him more.

I hope you can find a way to put some more space between the two of you. That may include telling him that he knows what you want, and you can no longer discuss your R outside a biz one until he is ready to move forward. Otherwise, he is just dumping his emotional baggage on you -- a sympathetic, loving ear -- but not dealing with the consequences of the pain it puts YOU through. Only you can stop that. Tell him.

And take time out for you today. I am thinking of you.

Anna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 12-16-2003 - 2:54pm
Ditto......................(n/t)..........cl-nre