Gutted

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Gutted
16
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 2:37pm
I accidently posted this on the EMA support board instead of here. Things ended with MM a week ago. I ended things because he never called or was on line after a while.

Received an email from MM today. The subject said: Do not delete-please read.

I should have deleted it. In it he said, "I'm sure you feel better by ending things, but it ended after we met in the hotel room. You see for me, it was all about the hunt. Guys don't need "friends" we have buddies we golf with, drink with, play cards with. Women serve one or two purposes, to have our kids, clean our houses, and for sex. Women outside of marriage are for hunting. Once they are bagged, the hunt is over and we move on. Our wives are too focused on being the perfect little wife to no whats going on. So we have the best of both worlds. Merry Christmas"

Yes, it was a spitful email, but it hurt like hell. I believe all the lies, how could I have been SO stupid? I must have been from seeking outside of marriage I didn't have; friendship and love.

Feeling like life isn't so grand about now.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 3:01pm
Are you serious?


What a d&%K!

MAN oh man...


Really, nothing to mourn over now is there.

Yeah I'm sure that hurt your self respect a little BUT. You can be assured you didn't miss out on the great love of your life!

He obviously wasn't worth any of the time you gave him. How long was the EMA?

My XMM once asked me when we were about to part for the last time if I wanted him to say something to piss me off so I could hate him and move on. What the hell does that mean? Is he going to say garbabge he really thinks or does he really think that's a good way to deal with problems? I don't know.

All I can say is that yourXMM used you to lift himself up. He obviously feels like "the man" because he fooled you and his wife. The sad part is... he'll be an old man someday who no one will have time for because he's got nothing that matters. No heart, no soul and no one to tear down to build himself up.

I'm so sorry you had to get that letter... But, I know you will recover from this.. I know your not going to let that JERK take up one more precious moment of your time.

Being fooled happens to the best of us girlie... It's just not to many of us that get verifiable evidence that he was what we suspected.

I would print out that e-mail and burn it.

BIG HUGS!!! KATJA

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 3:14pm
It started in September. Things started slow, he didn't pressure me into anything. He made me laugh, we met for dinner and/or lunch during the week. Everything was great until we slept together. He kept telling me throughout our lovemaking what an "exceptional lover" I was, as well as a beautiful woman.

After that, he started to become less and less available. Make dinner reservations and cancel, be "out of town" for a week and no word from him. Once he called me on a weekend when I was out shopping and said "I didn't see you last week and I will be gone this coming week. Can we meet for coffee, I miss you desparately." So I foolishly thought we had something good.

Foolish me.

You're right, at least he wasn't the love of my life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 4:29pm
Oh my gosh!!!!!!! I'm new to the board and have only been lurking, but when I read your message it made my blood boil! What a pompus a$$!!!! He obviously has some deep seeded insecurity that he is trying to overcome. Thank god you found out before too long. I feel bad for you having to have been caught in his slop...but imagine his poor wife! Be strong! Though I'm not entirely sure of it myself these days -- I hope there are a few good men still out there...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 4:48pm
Wow. Thank goodness you are out of this. I know it hurts but good riddance to bad garbage...

Hang in there....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 4:49pm


Your all the better for it.

I think we all need to make a resolution for 2004... No more jackasses...

Thanks for sharing... I hope you know your not alone.

Chin-up!

Katja

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 5:36pm
I would really like to think there are a few good men out there. Too bad they don't come with warning labels though. In college, when a room mate had her heart broken by some jerk, another room mate said to her "Look they are all pigs. THey only care when it benefits them. This is a life lesson, remember it in the future." I remember thinking "OMG how jaded can you be." But there are times, especially after that email, I'm starting to wonder if she was right. "They care, only when it benefits them." Because to be honest, except for my late father, I have yet to come across a truly loving and caring man.

We live an learn.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 9:05pm
Hey Life, Stupid? No.. Weak? Yes.. Just like the rest of us. At least he was honest right? He showed his true colors and they are ugly. Wow. We learn from our mistakes. I don't regret anything that I've done because I've learned from it all and it has made me the person who I am today. A wonderful person.... And so are you ;-)

Hang in there, and hang around....

~Love

Love
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 11:11pm

Welcome to the board.


As a male I find your xMM's comments extremely offensive, yet in the context of a lot of comments from the women on this board, not that unusual. Somewhat more direct and surprisingly candid, perhaps, yet not at all out of the ordinary. I find it sad that there really are men out there that believe in "the hunt" as your xMM so succintly put it, rather than believing in the nurturing aspects of relationships with women as I found.


I'm pleased to read that you ended you relationship after only a few months' time rather than wasting years with such an insensitive jerk.


Here's to the next nice guy you meet; may he be single, kind, honest and respectful seeking a mutually supportive relationship with you as a way of life.......


jmhoo,


cl-nre


Avatar for kassieree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 2:45am
You can be safe in the knowledge that you're not the first woman to be fooled by a jacka$$ like that & you certainly won't be the last. There's a song by LeAnn Rimes that says 'shame on you if you fooled me once, shame on me if you fooled me twice'. At least you won't be fool enough to be fooled twice. Many of us have, me included. At least he had the guts to tell you exactly how it is. Many of them a too coward or just hope we are stupid enough to hang around to give them more chances. My MM moved away 8 weeks ago without even saying goodbye & i haven't heard a word since. That was after i was fool enough to get involved a 2nd time. As for truly wonderful men, i'm married to one which only goes to show i'm more foolish than most for even getting involved in the first place.

Here's the words to that LeAnn Rimes song i was referring to & i'm sure many of you will relate to this one.

Life goes on, life goes on, life goes on...

You sucked me in and played my mind

Just like a toy you would crank and wind

Baby, I would give til you wore it out

You left me lying in a pool of doubt

If you're still thinkin' you're the Daddy Mac

You should've known better but you didn't and I can't go back

Oooh, life goes on, and its only gonna make me strong

Its a fact, once you get on board say goodbye cuz you can't go back

Oooh, its a fight, and I really wanna get it right

Where I'm at, is my life before me, Got this feeling that I can't go back

Life goes on, life goes on, life goes on...

Wish I knew then what I know now

You held all the cards and sold me out

Baby, shame on you if you fooled me once,

Shame on me if you fooled me twice

You've been a pretty hard case to crack

I should've known better but I didn't and I can't go back

Oooh, life goes on, and its only gonna make me strong

Its a fact, once you get on board say goodbye cuz you can't go back

Oooh, its a fight, and I really wanna get it right

Where I'm at, is my life before me, Got this feeling that I can't go back

Na na na na na life goes on, na na na na na made me strong

Got a feeling and I can't go back

Life goes on (and its only gonna make me strong)

Life goes onn and on and on

Shame on you if you fooled me once,

Shame on me if you fooled me twice

You've been a pretty hard case to crack

I should've known better but I didn't and I can't go back

Oooh, life goes on, and its only gonna make me strong

Its a fact, once you get on board say goodbye cuz you can't go back

Oooh, its a fight, and I really wanna get it right

Where I'm at, is my life before me, Got this feeling that I can't go back

Na na na na na life goes on, na na na na na made me strong

Whoa, yeah

Got a feeling and I can't go back...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 9:36am
Life, you did the right thing breaking up with him. You did it so quickly too, you didn't go on and on waiting for him to start responding to you more. Man, do you know what a strong woman you are. I have been trying to get my SG to respond to me for over 6 months now. I kept contacting him and he always had a very short response, but he never initiated. I wish I would have made the break long ago, but I didn't and we ended up having IC one month ago. This was my first ever except my H, a big deal to me and he knew it. He was horrible and after as I was laying there with his DNA all over me he said very mean things to me. I felt like a whore. Even though I have contacted him 5 times since, he responds but does not initiate. See, I am the fool, not you. You stopped it and like I told you before you are an inspiration to me. I called SG on his birthday 5 days ago and even though he was very friendly that will be the last. If I hear from him I will respond, but if I don't, then it's over. The whole thing has been very painful. So, no, you aren't the only one to be fooled by an A$$, but you didn't give him much time and for that you are NO FOOL! Hang in there, C

Pages