Hard to just accept that they were lying
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Hard to just accept that they were lying
| Thu, 12-18-2003 - 12:05pm |
NRE said something in another post that has really impacted me. He said that you have to first try to accept that the xMM/MW were lying to you all along. Why is that so hard? I struggle with that so much. I have rationalized and made excuses for my xMM. The reality of the situation is that he probably was lying to me for 5 years. I know that, in his mind, it was not lying and he will say that he wanted to believe it. However, there are MM and MW out there that make it clear from the start that they have no intention of leaving their spouses or family. Then, there are others that say over and over what they know we want to hear without giving any real thought to actually following through. I saw it in my xMM. His actions rarely supported his words, yet I fell for those words every single time. It is so very hard to accept that you were lied to. Maybe that is the first real step towards healing. NRE was right. It does hurt deeply to acknowledge that.
He also said (NRE) something else that I have been pondering. He said that when all of the S*&**%%$T hits the fan (not in those words) that is the perfect time to just go forward and be honest with yourself and live the kind of life that you really want. Instead, most of the MM/MW freak and go back to the marriage. In the process, they say horrible hurtful things and make the OW/OM feel like they are just disposable. I guess that is another sign of lying. The real intention to be with OW/OM was never there to begin with.
Lostit

Actions do speak louder than words and sometimes reality sucks. I was also told he would be with me, but when push came to shove, he is back living in his marriage.
Yes, it is time to start the healing process.
Just my opinion
Cali~
just my two cents.
Jazzdiva